The Rice Thread

[Laconian]

LOL!

[cawimmer430]

Pontiac Trans Am with German titties x 2 riding in it. 

[Rupert]

They probably smoke.

[Eye of the Tiger]

They probably smoke.

poles?

[giant_mtb]

If she smokes, she pokes.

[cawimmer430]

They probably smoke.

They do. They're German after all.

[Madman]

I'm sure many of you will remember the horrific Nissan 350Z I keep spotting.  Every time i see it, it gets worse and worse.

As a reminder, here are the first photos I was able to get, taken in September of 2010:





The bodykit looks like it was tacked on with a hammer and nails!





Marvel at the tight-fitting panel gaps! 





Is there a fuel filler nozzle somewhere deep inside this hole?  I love the exposed rivets, too!





He fitted a wide-body kit but didn't bother to widen the car's track?  Err, okay.





What quality craftsmanship!





Evidently, he didn't have a ruler with which to cut a straight line?  Even the exposed rivet heads don't line-up with each other!





Wheels and tyres look lost deep inside the wheel arches.





Overspray on the headlamp covers?  Check.





I have no idea what this means.  I'm guessing the owner doesn't, either.






In October of 2010, I spotted a guy in this same car pulling out of Hooters (so you know he's a classy sort of fellow!) but it was dark and he was on the move, so a photo was out of the question.  By this point, he'd painted the bottom half of the doors black.  Obviously, this masterpiece was still a work in progress!


By December of 2010 I spotted it again and was able to snap a few pics from the safety of my car before the owner and his girlfriend came back out.


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The red 350Z parked next to it was pretty bad, too!


I hadn't seen this monstrosity since then and I sort of assumed the owner had either crashed it or perhaps one of his ill-advised engine modifications had lunched the engine.  Then, lo and behold, I spotted it again just this past week!  It was parked outside a sleezy-looking tattoo parlour (where else?) along a busy road.  Since it was parked right outside the plate glass window of the tattoo parlour and I could see some semi-evolved neanderthals sitting inside, I knew I was taking a huge risk snapping these pictures.  However, I'm sure you will agree that risking life and limb was absolutley worth it!  The things I do for CarSPIN!!!


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As I was briskly walking past and trying to discretely take the last photo, a young girl comes out of the tattoo parlour and shouts at me about why I'm taking pictures of the car.  I pretended to be on my mobile phone so that I wouldn't have to acknowledge her and made a hasty escape to my car which I wisely parked a few doors down the street.  Knowing the area pretty well, I zig-zaged down a few side roads in case anyone tried to follow me by car.  Luckily, I managed to make a clean escape.

The carbonfibre hood/bonnet is new and there appears to be a bit more stick-on chrome but otherwise it's still as awful as ever!

I also noticed the number plate has changed.  Possibly a new owner, perhaps?  (Note: in Tennessee the plate stays with the driver, not the car)

I hope you have enjoyed the evolution of the world's worst Nissan 350Z.  If I see it again, I'll try to get some more pics.  Let's hope I don't get shot doing so!

[Eye of the Tiger]

why

[Laconian]

Did he do that to the headlight covers on purpose?

[Madman]

Did he do that to the headlight covers on purpose?

Your guess is as good as mine.  

[S204STi]

Pontiac Trans Am with German titties x 2 riding in it. 

This is the sort of rice that I would endorse.

[Rupert]

o god that poor z

[Eye of the Tiger]

o god that poor z

FUCK YOUR EXPLOERE

[Rupert]

Fuck yer main Accent.

[Eye of the Tiger]

Dicks in your Porseche

[cawimmer430]

I knew I was taking a huge risk snapping these pictures.  However, I'm sure you will agree that risking life and limb was absolutley worth it!  The things I do for CarSPIN!!!

There's a neat little trick I use to get myself out of situations like that if caught.

I was once caught by a ricer (the mild unimpressive German rice we have here) photographing his shitbox. I think it was an Opel Corsa or a VW Polo, can't remember, it was so long ago, but he asked me what I was doing and I told him "I have the exact same car and wanted to modify it and his car is an inspiration to me." He actually bought my bullshit and even gave me some addresses of bodyshops which I forgot the moment I left. I could care less.

So, if you're caught, just bullshit your way through by claiming you have a Nissan 350Z at home as your weekend fun car and you want to modify it and that his car is an "inspiration" to you. 

[hotrodalex]

Yeah, you just act like you think it's cool.

[Madman]

Yeah, you just act like you think it's cool.

I don't think I could keep up the charade very long before bursting out in laughter!  I guess I'm just not that good of an actor.

[cawimmer430]

I don't think I could keep up the charade very long before bursting out in laughter!  I guess I'm just not that good of an actor.

I'm a great actor. The guy I bullshitted completely bought my story.

[cawimmer430]

Is this rice? To me it is!

[CJ]

Yes.

[cawimmer430]

Yes.

I'm getting better at this!

[cawimmer430]

This used to be a Fiat Punto...




RIP, Renault Twingo...





Purple Rain? 



Lowered VW T2 with noisy muffler...nice...NOT...

[Rupert]

None of those are rice, and the T2 is FUCKING AWESOME.

[heelntoe]

WTF Wimmer!? Anything not stock is rice to you?

None of those are rice, and the T2 is FUCKING AWESOME.

[ifcar]

That Twingo's rear bumper is pretty silly, and I'm not a fan of the Punto's side work either.

[CALL_911]

The Twingo's fucking ricey, IMO. The Punto's clean for a car with a bodykit, but it's a bit tacky.

That T2 is fucking AWESOME. I'm a huge fan of the way it was done.

[cawimmer430]

DISCLAIMER

THIS IS GERMAN RICE.

It's crap and pathetic compared to American rice. We have an organization here called the T?V and the American rice posted here would NEVER pass inspections. Hence, I am forced to post pictures of "mildly modified" cars and pass them off as rice!

[Rupert]

No, it's no kind of rice at all, as we have discussed many, many times. The T2 was far from rice in any context.

[cawimmer430]

No, it's no kind of rice at all, as we have discussed many, many times. The T2 was far from rice in any context.

Yeah, I admit it wasn't rice. But I still don't see the point of slamming a van and adding an exhaust kit to it...