Is it bad I secretly want a Juke?

[565]

http://blogs.insideline.com/roadtests/Vehicles/2011-nissan-juke-sl-awd/

Man it seems like Edmunds Insideline is having an unexpected blast with their Juke.

Honestly at first it seems like a massive facepalm car.  But now that I think of it, I think it might be the perfect car for Boston (or other similar cities).  It's compact, and thus easy to park.  Nimble and confidence inspiring to cut through traffic.  Tall enough with short overhangs to hammer over those bumps and driveway ramps without worry.  AWD with decent ground clearance for the snow.  Only weighs about 3100 pounds (featherweight for an SUV).  Gives a decent view over other cars.  Practical enough to carry 4 adults, with folding seats to carry cargo when needed.  Most importantly it seems DAMN fun to drive.  Plus you can get the AWD model for about 21k with the basics, or 25k loaded with Nav and rearview camera and all the toys you can imagine. 

If only it didn't look so crazy, Nissan would have such a massive winner of their hands.

[68_427]

Nope.  The Juke is awesome.  It looks fantastic in white. 

[Cookie Monster]

I like the Juke but I'd probably lower it if I got one.

[2o6]

Nope.

I like the Juke but I'd probably lower it if I got one.

+1.

[GoCougs]

It moves too: M/T tested it 0-60 in 6.8 sec and 1/4 mile in 15.2 sec @ 92 mph...

[68_427]

I'd lower it too and get some baller rims (actually I'd prolly just stick with some cheap and light RFP1s) and look for a tune.  Bump it up to 210-220hp.

[Onslaught]

It's not a secret anymore. But other than the front end I see nothing bad about it.

[TBR]

I liked it, even the styling, until I saw one up close in person. It's proportions are just weird. Too short for its height.

[Colonel Cadillac]

Yeah, I thought it was pretty cool too. The commercial at least really emphasized the turbos. Are they available with a manual?

[the Teuton]

Yeah, I thought it was pretty cool too. The commercial at least really emphasized the turbos. Are they available with a manual?

In FWD only.

[SVT666]

It's too ugly.

[mzziaz]

It's too ugly.

+1

You should be ashamed of yourself for wanting this abdomination.

[2o6]

It's polarizing.

[cawimmer430]

It moves too: M/T tested it 0-60 in 6.8 sec and 1/4 mile in 15.2 sec @ 92 mph...

That's all that matters. GO FOR IT!

If it did 0-60 in 6.9 seconds I would have said "forget it", but 6.8? GO FOR IT! 

[Onslaught]

That's all that matters. GO FOR IT!

If it did 0-60 in 6.9 seconds I would have said "forget it", but 6.8? GO FOR IT! 

You need some new material.

[Madman]

From the "Spotted Today" thread......

AHHHHH, MY EYES!!!!!!!!

I hope the owner of this monstrosity doesn't have small children.  Imagine their frustration when they try to open the back door and can't find the handle.  When they finally do locate it they will discover they can't reach it because some turtleneck-wearing artsy-fartsy designer though it would be "cool" to put the door handle all the way up, NEAR THE FUCKING ROOF!!!

And if the owner doesn't have children then he never will.  Why, you ask?  Do you really think you're ever going to get laid driving a clownmobile like this?

Then there's this.....

Maybe Nissan is marketing this as some form of population control?  Like I already pointed out, you're never going to get laid driving a Nissan Juke, thus guaranteeing a life of celibacy.  Since you won't be having kids anyway, there's no need to locate a door handle where they can reach it.  The rear doors probably aren't functional, anyway.  Nissan gave the Juke the appearance of having rear doors so that their owners can make a sad, pathetic attempt at convincing others they have friends and a social life.  Of course, they won't have any kind of life because their ridiculous clown car has marked them as a social pariah.

Viola!  Fewer children roaming the Earth.  The planet is saved.  Thanks, Nissan!

Note to Nissan:  Next time, don't let Stevie Wonder design your new car!

[2o6]

Nissan said from the start, the styling was going to be "Love it or hate it".


Honestly, if it got Nissan's new boring styling language, I wouldn't be interested.

[68_427]

Note to Nissan:  Next time, don't let Stevie Wonder design your new car!

He did a Wonder-ful job.

[cawimmer430]

You need some new material.

Well that 0.1 second difference is crucial to merging unto a freeway! 

[Laconian]

[Raza]

Yes.  I saw one on the road, and yes, I was recovering from food poisoning and/or stomach flu, but it was literally nigh-vomit-inducing.

[Mustangfan2003]

Do they make a paper bag big enough to put on the front of the Juke?

[r0tor]

I imagine cleaning vomit off your car would grow tiresome

[CALL_911]

I like the idea of the Puke, but it's so ugly it's mother couldn't even love it.

[S204STi]

I like the idea of the Puke, but it's so ugly it's mother couldn't even love it.

In fact, it's mother left it on the birthing table and ran out of the hospital, screaming.

[Mustangfan2003]

In fact, it's mother left it on the birthing table and ran out of the hospital, screaming.

It's like the opening of Benjamin Button. 

[thewizard16]

It's just too hideous, inside and out. It wouldn't matter how fun it was, I couldn't stand driving something that made my eyes hurt that much.

[omicron]

Yes. Kill yourself now.

[Atomic]

Nope.  The Juke is awesome.  It looks fantastic in white. 

omg... no. it is a great little vehicle, especially in awd. i like it, too. no secret! yes. as someone said, it looks fashionable in white. the interior rocks and is far roomier than i had expected.

[Laconian]

omg... no. it is a great little vehicle, especially in awd. i like it, too. no secret! yes. as someone said, it looks fashionable in white. the interior rocks and is far roomier than i had expected.

Rocks? It's filled with the cheapest, glossiest plastic known to man!