MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version

[Morris Minor]

1986 Volkswagen Vanagon for me.

I always liked the way these use your legs as a crumple zone, great way to raise the stakes in sloppy driving & so focus drivers' attention. (Unless you're Oscar Pistorius) 

[Madman]

I always liked the way these use your legs as a crumple zone, great way to raise the stakes in sloppy driving & so focus drivers' attention. (Unless you're Oscar Pistorius) 

Think of it as a safety feature.  You know if you hit anything larger than a dog you are going to die.  So, you pay closer attention to the road, to other traffic and you find youself driving more cautiously.  I once had a shit-your-pants moment in my old 1975 bus when I thought I was going to hit something.  That wakes you up REALLY fast!

[280Z Turbo]

Voyager with wood paneling, the turbo motor and 5 speed.

[L. ed foote]

A turbo Chrysler minivan with a 5 MT would be cool.

And insanely fast.

http://www.gusmahon.org/html/Mini.htm

[Soup DeVille]

No shit, but they can run sub 12's with some work and you end up with a crazy ass sleeper.

They can, but its also like running around on meth and crack simultaneously. You'll be moving real good for a while, and then eventually the shit is going to hit the fan.

The motors are strong as battleships, but the moving parts are heavy: they don't rev well. You can push stupid amounts of boost down their throats and they'll take it: if you can keep that shit under 5000 RPM.

Plus, I don't even need to point out that that minivan chassis was never intended to provide a stable high speed platform. Sure, it'll be fast, but it'll be about as graceful as a three legged heifer.

[Onslaught]

I never worked on the other two but I can say that the Ford was one of the most hateful cars I've ever worked on. It was the a good example of the pinnacle of Fords shit building days. I have no doubt that the other two cars are just as bad seeing that America couldn't build a car to save it's life back then.

Just seeing a picture of that God damn van made my blood pressure go up.

[Cookie Monster]

They can, but its also like running around on meth and crack simultaneously. You'll be moving real good for a while, and then eventually the shit is going to hit the fan.

The motors are strong as battleships, but the moving parts are heavy: they don't rev well. You can push stupid amounts of boost down their throats and they'll take it: if you can keep that shit under 5000 RPM.

Plus, I don't even need to point out that that minivan chassis was never intended to provide a stable high speed platform. Sure, it'll be fast, but it'll be about as graceful as a three legged heifer.

Is it bad that everything you said just makes the turbo van appeal to me even more?

I think it'd be hilarious to drive a crappy van that scares the shit out of you when you get on the gas.

[Raza]

It's girlfriend and not wife for a reason.  Later bitch, I'm changing my name and moving to Canada. 

[cawimmer430]

It's girlfriend and not wife for a reason.  Later bitch, I'm changing my name and moving to Canada. 

[NomisR]

It's girlfriend and not wife for a reason.  Later bitch, I'm changing my name and moving to Canada. 

[Soup DeVille]

Is it bad that everything you said just makes the turbo van appeal to me even more?

I think it'd be hilarious to drive a crappy van that scares the shit out of you when you get on the gas.

Oh no, I understand that, just wanted to share.

[cawimmer430]

I should have provided a Plymouth Volare Wagon option! 

[S204STi]

Previa SC

[AutobahnSHO]

Plus, I don't even need to point out that that minivan chassis was never intended to provide a stable high speed platform. Sure, it'll be fast, but it'll be about as graceful as a three legged heifer.

You. Would. Be. Surprised.    I bought a 92 Voyager in 2004. In Germany. Speedo maxed out at 110mph. Van went faster than speedo.    I was running what was probably the stock suspension and it handled surprisingly well for such a package.

Granted that's compared to big Army trucks I was driving at the time but also my SHO (which had much better suspension than a stock Taurus)...

[Soup DeVille]

You. Would. Be. Surprised.    I bought a 92 Voyager in 2004. In Germany. Speedo maxed out at 110mph. Van went faster than speedo.    I was running what was probably the stock suspension and it handled surprisingly well for such a package.

Granted that's compared to big Army trucks I was driving at the time but also my SHO (which had much better suspension than a stock Taurus)...

110 on the highway is one thing; running a quarter mile in 12 seconds is quite another.

[cawimmer430]

I have to go meet a client now, but isn't there an R/T version of the current Dodge Grand Caravan?

[CJ]

No. Even then, the R/T was just wheels and a rear wing. Moderately nicer seats and auto-stick!

[Submariner]

5.0 V8, RWD, open headers.

V6 Econoline. 

[Eye of the Tiger]

V6 Econoline.

shit

[cawimmer430]

No. Even then, the R/T was just wheels and a rear wing. Moderately nicer seats and auto-stick!

Can't imagine any soccer mom wanting to track that baby!