Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!

[Cookie Monster]

Make it into a rallycross car and take it off some sweet jumps.

[GoCougs]

There are three main ITT contextual issues with an FYA beater:

1.) Life's too short to drive crappy car if you don't have to (i.e., to sacrifice safety, performance, comfort, etc.).

2.) No car is worth preserving and it certainly isn't done by putting less miles on it.

3.) The first (and likely last) time it pukes it'll probably leave you stranded which will have a cost (opportunity and otherwise) and then you'll have to pay to have it towed to the junk yard.

[hotrodalex]

Make it into a rallycross car and take it off some sweet jumps.

This.

[Soup DeVille]

Really? No car is worth preserving?

[280Z Turbo]

Really? No car is worth preserving?

It's illogical. Logical people drive Accords and that's all there is to it.

[MexicoCityM3]

Oval radio FTW.

Congrats. Proper beater.

[Madman]

Wow, I never expected a thread about a shitty old beater I picked up on a whim would ever be so popular!

However, I think some of you are misinterpreting my comment about "preserving" the Passat.  Yes, I'm fully aware this isn't some kind of collector car and I will probably be replacing it sometime within the next year, depending on how soon the right car comes along.  And don't ask me what the "right" car is because I don't even know myself.  All I know is I will know it when I see it.

So far, the Escort is performing the role of commuter car and errand runner, at least for the errands which don't require the Passat's huge wagonesque load bay.  Impressions?  Well the Escort is HILARIOUSLY awful!  Look, I fully understand this car was built down to a price.  But did it really have to be this bad?  The thing that really blows my mind about cars like this is the fact that somebody back in 1998 walked into a Ford showroom and actually paid somewhere around $14,000 ($20,430 in today's money) for this heap-o-shite!  The penny-pinching miser in me thinks of all the very nice used cars you can buy with that sort of cash.

All I can say is it's a good thing this car has airbags because the plastic used to make the dashboard is nearly as hard as the steel dash in my old 1952 Chevy!  And the interior door handles are the flimsiest I've seen in ANY car.  It's a miracle they aren't all broken yet.  The Ford CVH engine is living up to it's loud and thrashy reputation by being louder and thrashier than a garage-based heavy metal rock band.  It's a pity all that noise doesn't translate into forward motion.  If it did, my daily commute would be a helluva lot faster!  Remember the old saying about how much fun it is to drive a slow car fast?  Well, I can confirm this is true!

Since their is so much interest in my humble little crapmobile, I'll make sure to post any new developments in this space.

[Soup DeVille]

In all fairness, I don't think anybody was paying MSRP for those. 

[veeman]

Also this was a better car than the 1998 Chevy Crapalier or 1998 Dodge Peeon.

[MexicoCityM3]

Also this was a better car than the 1998 Chevy Crapalier or 1998 Dodge Peeon.

IMO Neon > Escort > Cavalier

[280Z Turbo]

At least the Cavalier had the 2.4L.

[Gotta-Qik-C7]

IMO Neon > Escort > Cavalier

[CJ]

It's an $800 shitbox.  Why do you guys care so much?  I would beat the shit out of it and dump it when it goes boom.

[2o6]

IMO Neon > Escort > Cavalier

I really miss my Neon sometimes.

[Secret Chimp]

In all fairness, I don't think anybody was paying MSRP for those. 

They always had at least 2-3 grand off from what I remember from the newspaper ads.

[cawimmer430]

I'm not a dashstroaker by any means, but damn! DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! All that CHEAPNESS of the cabin.... DAMN!!! 

Yeah, I realize this thing was built to a price and that someone buying this thing wouldn't care about the interior quality much. But still - DAMN! That's just NASTILY CHEAP! 

[GoCougs]

Really? No car is worth preserving?

No, not really. The add'l cost of having a beater will more than offset the "preserved" value of primary car (or most any primary car).

[AutobahnSHO]

Cosmetic damage from when my co-worker's mother-in-law skidded on some ice last winter and clipped a mailbox.

I always wondered where scrapes like that come from!!

Congrats!  (Sorry!)   

Like said, it's nice to not have to worry about breaking a car. I'd take it out in the woods, dirtroads, etc...

Also a HUGE bonus is just having the option when you walk out the door "Which car should I take???"
-I found this VERY satisfying when I still had Miata.

[Northlands]

You can definitely find way worse ways to spend 800 bucks. That thing looks remarkable for the money. Not a bad buy at all. I still see these things on the road locally. They're reasonably tough.

[Byteme]

Forget the ice bucket.  Try a crap bucket!





Cosmetic damage from when my co-worker's mother-in-law skidded on some ice last winter and clipped a mailbox.

Fortunately for you they sell Bondo in gallon buckets.