CarSPIN Forums

Auto Talk => Jalopies => Topic started by: Madman on September 17, 2014, 10:02:57 PM

Title: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: Madman on September 17, 2014, 10:02:57 PM
Forget the ice bucket.  Try a crap bucket!

Okay, it's not literally a bucket full of crap.  That would be disgusting.  But I am throwing down the gauntlet to see if anyone can buy a better beater for the money.

But first, a little background.  A co-worker of mine has more cars than the local Carmax outlet.  Lo and behold, a 93-year-old relative of his passes away and leaves my co-worker his car, a mid-1990s Lexus ES300.  Problem is he already has too many cars cluttering up his driveway and needs to get shot of at least one of them.  The one he wants to unload is his current daily driver, a 1998 Ford Escort SE sedan, automatic with 137,000 miles.

Out of idle curiosity, I ask him how much he wants for it.  He pulls out his phone to check the book value and it says it's worth $865.  Half-jokingly, I said "I'll give you $800 cash for it."  Well, the next thing I knew, I was the owner of a 1998 Ford Escort SE sedan!

What the hell have I done?!?!?!?!?   :mask:

So, without further adieu, here it is in all of its grey-ish glory!


(http://i.imgur.com/6hmFna7.jpg)
.
(http://i.imgur.com/z8jKNgy.jpg)
.
(http://i.imgur.com/EEc8aHS.jpg)
.
(http://i.imgur.com/26sCVqA.jpg)
.
(http://i.imgur.com/U3yHcGo.jpg)
.
(http://i.imgur.com/suZxKVH.jpg)


Golf-ball-sized divot on hood.

(http://i.imgur.com/VR1C0oe.jpg)


Cosmetic damage from when my co-worker's mother-in-law skidded on some ice last winter and clipped a mailbox.

(http://i.imgur.com/aDkTVBY.jpg)


(http://i.imgur.com/PTAVppq.jpg)
.
(http://i.imgur.com/LsD4ds2.jpg)
.
(http://i.imgur.com/2W1GZ9e.jpg)
.
(http://i.imgur.com/XgRaZJX.jpg)
.
(http://i.imgur.com/8MFKd3L.jpg)


Plug for a block heater I found under the front bumper, indicating this was once a Northern car.

(http://i.imgur.com/WqMzpNB.jpg)
.
(http://i.imgur.com/ovOH6Q4.jpg)
.
(http://i.imgur.com/O4FxY49.jpg)
.
(http://i.imgur.com/775yIVi.jpg)
.
(http://i.imgur.com/acEdAD4.jpg)
.
(http://i.imgur.com/HQ9a7EL.jpg)


The oily bits.  Eight valve SOHC 2.0 Ford CVH engine.  110 raging horsepowers!!!!


(http://i.imgur.com/tqyxAg0.jpg)
.
(http://i.imgur.com/uEnYr6t.jpg)


So, what's it like?  Well, it's terrible!  Hey, what do you expect?  Everything about this car looks and feels like it was subcontracted out to the lowest bidder.  But that's okay with me.  This is only going to be for commuting and keeping the miles (and the wear and tear) off my Passat.  It is strictly a cheap, disposable, throw-away car.  The minute something expensive goes POP, off to the scrappie it goes.

So, it seems if you're prepared to REALLY lower your standards, you can still pick up a serviceable beater for the price of a decent laptop.
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: ifcar on September 17, 2014, 10:10:14 PM
Looks pretty nice for its age, scrape aside -- I hope it treats you well!
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: Gotta-Qik-C7 on September 17, 2014, 10:30:02 PM
Looks good for 800 bucks......
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: FoMoJo on September 18, 2014, 05:32:29 AM
It blends in so well with asphalt.

Not bad for a 21-22 year old car.
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: Cookie Monster on September 18, 2014, 07:00:39 AM
Quote from: FoMoJo on September 18, 2014, 05:32:29 AM
It blends in so well with asphalt.

Not bad for a 21-22 year old car.

It's only 16 years old though. :mask:
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: FoMoJo on September 18, 2014, 07:05:45 AM
Quote from: thecarnut on September 18, 2014, 07:00:39 AM
It's only 16 years old though. :mask:
Ah yes. For some reason, I took the 93 year old relative as the year of the car.  I have no excuse. :(
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: Madman on September 18, 2014, 07:20:39 AM

Thanks, guys.

The is something strangely liberating about driving a car you don't give two shits about.  I no longer live in terror of supermarket parking door dings.  Dump trucks spewing debris in their wake?  Who cares!  Go ahead world, bring it on!!!
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: CALL_911 on September 18, 2014, 07:35:31 AM
Congrats, I guess

"This is only going to be for commuting and keeping the miles (and the wear and tear) off my Passat."

I don't understand this logic; it's a Passat wagon, not a Ferrari! It was designed for commuting etc. It's not even like the thing is brand new, why would you care about keeping the wear and tear/miles off the Passat?
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: 2o6 on September 18, 2014, 09:23:54 AM
Those Escorts are servicable little cars. Focus MK1 was a godsend, though.
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: veeman on September 18, 2014, 10:00:21 AM
Love it.  Seriously. 

It seems, not sure though, but it seems the tires are balding.  Bad tires give me the heebie jeebies.  Makes me very anxious.  Replacing them would cost half the value of the car though.
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: ifcar on September 18, 2014, 10:11:33 AM
Quote from: CALL_911 on September 18, 2014, 07:35:31 AM
Congrats, I guess

"This is only going to be for commuting and keeping the miles (and the wear and tear) off my Passat."

I don't understand this logic; it's a Passat wagon, not a Ferrari! It was designed for commuting etc. It's not even like the thing is brand new, why would you care about keeping the wear and tear/miles off the Passat?

With an older car, you're very well aware that each mile driven brings it closer to DEATH.
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: cawimmer430 on September 18, 2014, 10:14:13 AM
Would you have bought the car if it were a 1974 Dodge Monaco!?  :praise:  :lol:

Congrats on the "new" ride! :mrcool:
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: 68_427 on September 18, 2014, 11:01:21 AM
Neutral slam or it didn't happen.
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: Cookie Monster on September 18, 2014, 03:20:10 PM
Quote from: 68_427 on September 18, 2014, 11:01:21 AM
Neutral slam or it didn't happen.

:lol:
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: Cookie Monster on September 18, 2014, 03:22:06 PM
Quote from: CALL_911 on September 18, 2014, 07:35:31 AM
Congrats, I guess

"This is only going to be for commuting and keeping the miles (and the wear and tear) off my Passat."

I don't understand this logic; it's a Passat wagon, not a Ferrari! It was designed for commuting etc. It's not even like the thing is brand new, why would you care about keeping the wear and tear/miles off the Passat?

+1. The 11 year old Passat should be the one getting miles piled on it to keep the miles off of something that is actually cool.
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: Soup DeVille on September 18, 2014, 04:21:45 PM
Quote from: ifcar on September 18, 2014, 10:11:33 AM
With an older car, you're very well aware that each mile driven brings it closer to DEATH.

That's true with all cars.

Don't know why the age makes any difference.
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: ifcar on September 18, 2014, 04:41:35 PM
Quote from: Soup DeVille on September 18, 2014, 04:21:45 PM
That's true with all cars.

Don't know why the age makes any difference.

It's like how a 75-year-old is generally more aware of and concerned by his mortality than someone at 25. Sure, it's the same number of days before the end, all things considered, but each remaining day is more obviously closer to it.

And on another more automotive note, it makes a difference if you intend to sell your car at some point regardless -- as most people do, especially those buying new -- rather than drive it into the ground.
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: 280Z Turbo on September 18, 2014, 06:25:34 PM
Quote from: Soup DeVille on September 18, 2014, 04:21:45 PM
That's true with all cars.

Don't know why the age makes any difference.

Cars don't die unless they're completely rusted out, crushed, or melted.

People just give up on them.
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: CALL_911 on September 18, 2014, 06:30:02 PM
Huge  :rolleyes: to anyone who's rationalizing this purchase as "keeping miles off" another vehicle that could very well be a beater.
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: Rupert on September 18, 2014, 07:22:06 PM
Heh, a beater to preserve a beater. I like it. :lol:

Not the Escort, though. That is a shameful car. Enjoy the hollow plastic dash.
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: Soup DeVille on September 18, 2014, 11:01:26 PM
Quote from: ifcar on September 18, 2014, 04:41:35 PM
It's like how a 75-year-old is generally more aware of and concerned by his mortality than someone at 25. Sure, it's the same number of days before the end, all things considered, but each remaining day is more obviously closer to it.

And on another more automotive note, it makes a difference if you intend to sell your car at some point regardless -- as most people do, especially those buying new -- rather than drive it into the ground.

Hell, the dude buying new takes a bath every single day because of depreciation, whether he drives it or not.

You buy a beater to beat on it, or because you just happen to like it, or to keep the miles off of your newly restored vintage Porsche during the winter. Or, maybe: as I suspect is the case here: because the thought of getting a cheap that works is a novelty unto itself.

Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: Secret Chimp on September 19, 2014, 11:33:24 PM
LOL these little pieces of shit. My crazy first gf in Ohio had one of these. Her parents put these shitty tires on it that would chirp betwen 1st and 2nd. I remember the heater got HOT. Like burn your hands hot. I totalled it when I pulled out in front of some lady doing 45 in a 30.
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: Rich on September 20, 2014, 09:34:14 PM
I like how the two rich kids are putting the guy down for wanting to keep miles off of his Passat.
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: Raza on September 20, 2014, 09:50:24 PM
My god, this is a bickering bunch.  It's worse than a Real Housewives book club here.

Congrats, Madman.  You do you, man.  If you love your Passat and want to preserve it, go for it. 
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: Cookie Monster on September 20, 2014, 10:35:17 PM
Quote from: HotRodPilot on September 20, 2014, 09:34:14 PM
I like how the two rich kids are putting the guy down for wanting to keep miles off of his Passat.


If you are referring to me as one of the rich kids, I'm probably poorer than everyone else here thanks to how much I owe the government. :huh:

I probably have one of the oldest DD's here as well. :huh:
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: CALL_911 on September 21, 2014, 12:02:50 AM
Quote from: HotRodPilot on September 20, 2014, 09:34:14 PM
I like how the two rich kids are putting the guy down for wanting to keep miles off of his Passat.

Yeah, because it totally makes sense to preserve a 2003 Passat Wagon. Should I also buy a used auxiliary garbage can to protect my existing one?

Look, if the dude wanted an Escort, great. But if he's saying it's an intelligent, rational purchase, it certainly isn't
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: Secret Chimp on September 21, 2014, 12:03:33 AM
stop being cunts for teeny bitchy reasons jeez
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: Eye of the Tiger on September 21, 2014, 01:23:34 AM
Try to keep your valve seats in place, and take it rallycrossing.
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: ifcar on September 21, 2014, 05:24:24 AM
Quote from: CALL_911 on September 21, 2014, 12:02:50 AM
Yeah, because it totally makes sense to preserve a 2003 Passat Wagon. Should I also buy a used auxiliary garbage can to protect my existing one?

Look, if the dude wanted an Escort, great. But if he's saying it's an intelligent, rational purchase, it certainly isn't

Who are you to judge what car someone else considers valuable to them and worth preserving? And it's not like we're talking about two $50,000 pickup trucks here.
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: Tave on September 21, 2014, 06:41:27 AM
Not a bad deal at all Madman. The best part is no matter what you do to that little sucker, you won't feel any remorse.
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: Cookie Monster on September 21, 2014, 06:44:16 AM
Make it into a rallycross car and take it off some sweet jumps. :devil:
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: GoCougs on September 21, 2014, 10:50:34 PM
There are three main ITT contextual issues with an FYA beater:

1.) Life's too short to drive crappy car if you don't have to (i.e., to sacrifice safety, performance, comfort, etc.).

2.) No car is worth preserving and it certainly isn't done by putting less miles on it.

3.) The first (and likely last) time it pukes it'll probably leave you stranded which will have a cost (opportunity and otherwise) and then you'll have to pay to have it towed to the junk yard.
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: hotrodalex on September 21, 2014, 10:59:38 PM
Quote from: thecarnut on September 21, 2014, 06:44:16 AM
Make it into a rallycross car and take it off some sweet jumps. :devil:

This.
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: Soup DeVille on September 22, 2014, 12:04:16 AM
Really? No car is worth preserving?
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: 280Z Turbo on September 22, 2014, 11:07:22 AM
Quote from: Soup DeVille on September 22, 2014, 12:04:16 AM
Really? No car is worth preserving?

It's illogical. Logical people drive Accords and that's all there is to it.
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: MexicoCityM3 on September 23, 2014, 10:39:16 AM
Oval radio FTW.

Congrats. Proper beater.
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: Madman on September 23, 2014, 12:03:48 PM

Wow, I never expected a thread about a shitty old beater I picked up on a whim would ever be so popular!

However, I think some of you are misinterpreting my comment about "preserving" the Passat.  Yes, I'm fully aware this isn't some kind of collector car and I will probably be replacing it sometime within the next year, depending on how soon the right car comes along.  And don't ask me what the "right" car is because I don't even know myself.  All I know is I will know it when I see it.

So far, the Escort is performing the role of commuter car and errand runner, at least for the errands which don't require the Passat's huge wagonesque load bay.  Impressions?  Well the Escort is HILARIOUSLY awful!  Look, I fully understand this car was built down to a price.  But did it really have to be this bad?  The thing that really blows my mind about cars like this is the fact that somebody back in 1998 walked into a Ford showroom and actually paid somewhere around $14,000 ($20,430 in today's money) for this heap-o-shite!  The penny-pinching miser in me thinks of all the very nice used cars you can buy with that sort of cash.

All I can say is it's a good thing this car has airbags because the plastic used to make the dashboard is nearly as hard as the steel dash in my old 1952 Chevy!  And the interior door handles are the flimsiest I've seen in ANY car.  It's a miracle they aren't all broken yet.  The Ford CVH engine is living up to it's loud and thrashy reputation by being louder and thrashier than a garage-based heavy metal rock band.  It's a pity all that noise doesn't translate into forward motion.  If it did, my daily commute would be a helluva lot faster!  Remember the old saying about how much fun it is to drive a slow car fast?  Well, I can confirm this is true!

Since their is so much interest in my humble little crapmobile, I'll make sure to post any new developments in this space.
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: Soup DeVille on September 23, 2014, 02:33:41 PM
In all fairness, I don't think anybody was paying MSRP for those. 
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: veeman on September 23, 2014, 05:06:00 PM
Also this was a better car than the 1998 Chevy Crapalier or 1998 Dodge Peeon.

Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: MexicoCityM3 on September 23, 2014, 05:08:13 PM
Quote from: veeman on September 23, 2014, 05:06:00 PM
Also this was a better car than the 1998 Chevy Crapalier or 1998 Dodge Peeon.

IMO Neon > Escort > Cavalier
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: 280Z Turbo on September 23, 2014, 05:13:44 PM
At least the Cavalier had the 2.4L.
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: Gotta-Qik-C7 on September 23, 2014, 05:46:01 PM
Quote from: MexicoCityM3 on September 23, 2014, 05:08:13 PM
IMO Neon > Escort > Cavalier
:hesaid:
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: CJ on September 24, 2014, 10:51:34 AM
It's an $800 shitbox.  Why do you guys care so much?  I would beat the shit out of it and dump it when it goes boom.
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: 2o6 on September 24, 2014, 09:50:42 PM
Quote from: MexicoCityM3 on September 23, 2014, 05:08:13 PM
IMO Neon > Escort > Cavalier

I really miss my Neon sometimes.
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: Secret Chimp on September 25, 2014, 09:55:38 PM
Quote from: Soup DeVille on September 23, 2014, 02:33:41 PM
In all fairness, I don't think anybody was paying MSRP for those. 

They always had at least 2-3 grand off from what I remember from the newspaper ads.
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: cawimmer430 on September 29, 2014, 06:52:57 PM
I'm not a dashstroaker by any means, but damn! DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! All that CHEAPNESS of the cabin.... DAMN!!!  :lol:

Yeah, I realize this thing was built to a price and that someone buying this thing wouldn't care about the interior quality much. But still - DAMN! That's just NASTILY CHEAP!  :lol:
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: GoCougs on September 29, 2014, 07:20:40 PM
Quote from: Soup DeVille on September 22, 2014, 12:04:16 AM
Really? No car is worth preserving?

No, not really. The add'l cost of having a beater will more than offset the "preserved" value of primary car (or most any primary car).
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: AutobahnSHO on September 30, 2014, 03:05:01 PM
Quote from: Madman on September 17, 2014, 10:02:57 PM
Cosmetic damage from when my co-worker's mother-in-law skidded on some ice last winter and clipped a mailbox.

(http://i.imgur.com/aDkTVBY.jpg)

I always wondered where scrapes like that come from!!

Congrats!  (Sorry!)   :lol:

Like said, it's nice to not have to worry about breaking a car. I'd take it out in the woods, dirtroads, etc...

Also a HUGE bonus is just having the option when you walk out the door "Which car should I take???"
-I found this VERY satisfying when I still had Miata.
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: Northlands on October 02, 2014, 08:43:29 AM
You can definitely find way worse ways to spend 800 bucks. That thing looks remarkable for the money. Not a bad buy at all. I still see these things on the road locally. They're reasonably tough.
Title: Re: Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!
Post by: Byteme on October 05, 2014, 02:13:53 PM
Quote from: Madman on September 17, 2014, 10:02:57 PM
Forget the ice bucket.  Try a crap bucket!





Cosmetic damage from when my co-worker's mother-in-law skidded on some ice last winter and clipped a mailbox.

(http://i.imgur.com/aDkTVBY.jpg)



Fortunately for you they sell Bondo in gallon buckets.