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Auto Talk => Jalopies => Topic started by: cawimmer430 on March 02, 2013, 12:19:11 PM

Poll
Question: Which one for you?
Option 1: Chevrolet Astro votes: 1
Option 2: Ford Aerostar votes: 2
Option 3: Plymouth Voyager votes: 10
Option 4: Screw my pregnant girlfriend! I'm buying a motorcycle! The bitch can walk! votes: 4
Title: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: cawimmer430 on March 02, 2013, 12:19:11 PM
The year is 1986. Your girlfriend just told you she's pregnant and is expecting a shitload of kids. It's minivan time!

Here are your choices!



Chevrolet Astro

(http://img109.imageshack.us/img109/2809/chevroletastro.jpg)


Ford Aerostar

(http://img221.imageshack.us/img221/566/fordaerostar.jpg)


Plymouth Voyager

(http://img51.imageshack.us/img51/5660/plymouthvoyager.jpg)
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: 68_427 on March 02, 2013, 01:24:02 PM
Astro, but make mine a second gen.  They're pretty badass actually.
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: Laconian on March 02, 2013, 01:26:20 PM
Why badass? The one I drove was kind of crappy, though it was already 10 years old by that point.
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: 68_427 on March 02, 2013, 01:31:49 PM
I dunno.  I just think it's badass how square they are.
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: Vinsanity on March 02, 2013, 01:44:47 PM
(http://static.cargurus.com/images/site/2009/11/01/20/16/1991_volvo_740_4_dr_turbo_wagon-pic-8019171364030770336.jpeg)

(http://www.hemmings.com/story_image/268231-1000-0.jpg?rev=2)
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: AutobahnSHO on March 02, 2013, 03:04:25 PM
Plymouth, no doubt. The Astro was RWD and craptacular, the Aerostar was just craptacular.
For general people-hauling, MOPAR invented the minivan and kept it the freshest until the Japanese took over in the late 90s...
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: Madman on March 02, 2013, 09:10:29 PM
(http://www.sunsetclassics.com/1986-vw-vanagon-gl/images/1986-vw-vanagon-gl.jpg)

1986 Volkswagen Vanagon for me.
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: 68_427 on March 02, 2013, 09:52:08 PM
(http://www.wald.co.jp/parts_acce/carrange/chevrolet/astro/astro/img/astro_m_01.jpg)
(http://www.wald.co.jp/parts_acce/carrange/chevrolet/astro/astro/img/astro_m_03.jpg)


90's Jap tuning.  ahhhh
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: Secret Chimp on March 02, 2013, 11:16:26 PM
Plymouth because it's not a tippy box on a truck frame.
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: Gotta-Qik-C7 on March 03, 2013, 12:01:14 AM
Quote from: 68_427 on March 02, 2013, 09:52:08 PM
(http://www.wald.co.jp/parts_acce/carrange/chevrolet/astro/astro/img/astro_m_01.jpg)
(http://www.wald.co.jp/parts_acce/carrange/chevrolet/astro/astro/img/astro_m_03.jpg)


90's Jap tuning.  ahhhh
Chevy sold a shit load of those in Japan. IIRC It even inspired the styling of the first gen Scion XB.
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: 93JC on March 03, 2013, 12:36:00 AM
Voyager, and it's not even close.
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: SVT666 on March 03, 2013, 12:53:06 AM
Aerostar.  RWD muthafuckas!!!
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: Madman on March 03, 2013, 01:04:21 AM
Quote from: SVT666 on March 03, 2013, 12:53:06 AM
Aerostar.  RWD muthafuckas!!!


Yeah, but the VW is RWD and has a rear mounted boxer engine and a manual gearbox.  It's the Porsche of minivans!  :ohyeah:
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: cawimmer430 on March 03, 2013, 02:51:43 AM
Quote from: Madman on March 02, 2013, 09:10:29 PM
(http://www.sunsetclassics.com/1986-vw-vanagon-gl/images/1986-vw-vanagon-gl.jpg)

1986 Volkswagen Vanagon for me.

Patience, my dear Madman. Patience. There will be a "MINIVAN MADNESS - The European Version" poll soon! :lol:

Unless you want to take care of it...  ;)
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: cawimmer430 on March 03, 2013, 02:51:53 AM
Quote from: SVT666 on March 03, 2013, 12:53:06 AM
Aerostar.  RWD muthafuckas!!!

:lol:
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: 2o6 on March 03, 2013, 11:32:35 AM
Chrysler Van, those things were the shit.
Title: Re: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: SVT666 on March 03, 2013, 11:37:51 AM
Quote from: 2o6 on March 03, 2013, 11:32:35 AM
Chrysler Van, those things were shit.
Fixed it for you.
Title: Re: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: 2o6 on March 03, 2013, 11:38:25 AM
Quote from: SVT666 on March 03, 2013, 11:37:51 AM
Fixed it for you.

Compared to the Aerostar or Astro? Chrysler vans everyday of the week.
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: Eye of the Tiger on March 03, 2013, 11:40:59 AM
No doubt Chrysler made the better minivan. However. I would take the Aerostar. 5-speed manual, naturally. Until I'm done with the V8 swap, the bitch can stay the fuck home with the kids.
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: 2o6 on March 03, 2013, 11:42:09 AM
Quote from: Eye of the Tiger on March 03, 2013, 11:40:59 AM
No doubt Chrysler made the better minivan. However. I would take the Aerostar. 5-speed manual, naturally. Until I'm done with the V8 swap, the bitch can stay the fuck home with the kids.

Turbo Caravan 5MT with 20PSI of boost
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: Eye of the Tiger on March 03, 2013, 11:45:26 AM
Quote from: 2o6 on March 03, 2013, 11:42:09 AM
Turbo Caravan 5MT with 20PSI of boost

5.0 V8, RWD, open headers.
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: 2o6 on March 03, 2013, 11:46:35 AM
Quote from: Eye of the Tiger on March 03, 2013, 11:45:26 AM
5.0 V8, RWD, open headers.

30PS of boost; big ass slicks up front
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: Eye of the Tiger on March 03, 2013, 11:53:19 AM
Quote from: 2o6 on March 03, 2013, 11:46:35 AM
30PS of boost; big ass slicks up front

POWERSTROKE V8 WITH 40 PSI BOOST 500 HP/1500 TORQUE.
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: 2o6 on March 03, 2013, 11:55:40 AM
Quote from: Eye of the Tiger on March 03, 2013, 11:53:19 AM
POWERSTROKE V8 WITH 40 PSI BOOST 500 HP/1500 TORQUE.


Mid-engined Cummins with 50PSI of boost and a 9AT
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: Eye of the Tiger on March 03, 2013, 12:02:50 PM
Quote from: 2o6 on March 03, 2013, 11:55:40 AM

Mid-engined Cummins with 50PSI of boost and a 9AT

WING-MOUNTED TWIN ROLLS-ROYCE TRENT 900-SERIES TURBOFANS PRODUCING A COMBINED 170,000 POUNDS OF THRUST, FOREVERIAL DELITIZED WITH PERMANENT BOLOGNA AND CHEESE COMPRESSORS AND PERMANENT KETCHUP INJECTORS.
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: 2o6 on March 03, 2013, 12:04:04 PM
Spirit Bomb powered mated to a CVT automatic


Put your hands up, people. I'll wish you back to life, I promise.
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: Cookie Monster on March 03, 2013, 12:09:57 PM
A turbo Chrysler minivan with a 5 MT would be cool.

And insanely fast.
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: Eye of the Tiger on March 03, 2013, 12:10:35 PM
Quote from: 2o6 on March 03, 2013, 12:04:04 PM
Spirit Bomb powered mated to a CVT automatic


Put your hands up, people. I'll wish you back to life, I promise.

Quantum Slipstream Drive routed through the main deflector with a lead vehicle to detect phase variance.
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: 2o6 on March 03, 2013, 12:17:48 PM
Quote from: thecarnut on March 03, 2013, 12:09:57 PM
A turbo Chrysler minivan with a 5 MT would be cool.

And insanely fast.

You need to turn up the boost and do some other shit to it; it's not really that fast in base trim.
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: Cookie Monster on March 03, 2013, 12:19:19 PM
Quote from: 2o6 on March 03, 2013, 12:17:48 PM
You need to turn up the boost and do some other shit to it; it's not really that fast in base trim.

No shit, but they can run sub 12's with some work and you end up with a crazy ass sleeper.
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: Morris Minor on March 03, 2013, 04:55:00 PM
Quote from: Madman on March 02, 2013, 09:10:29 PM
(http://www.sunsetclassics.com/1986-vw-vanagon-gl/images/1986-vw-vanagon-gl.jpg)

1986 Volkswagen Vanagon for me.

I always liked the way these use your legs as a crumple zone, great way to raise the stakes in sloppy driving & so focus drivers' attention. (Unless you're Oscar Pistorius) 
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: Madman on March 03, 2013, 06:21:17 PM
Quote from: Morris Minor on March 03, 2013, 04:55:00 PM
I always liked the way these use your legs as a crumple zone, great way to raise the stakes in sloppy driving & so focus drivers' attention. (Unless you're Oscar Pistorius) 


Think of it as a safety feature.  You know if you hit anything larger than a dog you are going to die.  So, you pay closer attention to the road, to other traffic and you find youself driving more cautiously.  I once had a shit-your-pants moment in my old 1975 bus when I thought I was going to hit something.  That wakes you up REALLY fast!
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: 280Z Turbo on March 03, 2013, 09:29:13 PM
Voyager with wood paneling, the turbo motor and 5 speed.
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: L. ed foote on March 03, 2013, 09:31:17 PM
Quote from: thecarnut on March 03, 2013, 12:09:57 PM
A turbo Chrysler minivan with a 5 MT would be cool.

And insanely fast.

http://www.gusmahon.org/html/Mini.htm (http://www.gusmahon.org/html/Mini.htm)
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: Soup DeVille on March 03, 2013, 11:16:37 PM
Quote from: thecarnut on March 03, 2013, 12:19:19 PM
No shit, but they can run sub 12's with some work and you end up with a crazy ass sleeper.

They can, but its also like running around on meth and crack simultaneously. You'll be moving real good for a while, and then eventually the shit is going to hit the fan.

The motors are strong as battleships, but the moving parts are heavy: they don't rev well. You can push stupid amounts of boost down their throats and they'll take it: if you can keep that shit under 5000 RPM.

Plus, I don't even need to point out that that minivan chassis was never intended to provide a stable high speed platform. Sure, it'll be fast, but it'll be about as graceful as a three legged heifer.
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: Onslaught on March 04, 2013, 05:04:34 AM
I never worked on the other two but I can say that the Ford was one of the most hateful cars I've ever worked on. It was the a good example of the pinnacle of Fords shit building days. I have no doubt that the other two cars are just as bad seeing that America couldn't build a car to save it's life back then.

Just seeing a picture of that God damn van made my blood pressure go up.
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: Cookie Monster on March 04, 2013, 07:26:07 AM
Quote from: Soup DeVille on March 03, 2013, 11:16:37 PM
They can, but its also like running around on meth and crack simultaneously. You'll be moving real good for a while, and then eventually the shit is going to hit the fan.

The motors are strong as battleships, but the moving parts are heavy: they don't rev well. You can push stupid amounts of boost down their throats and they'll take it: if you can keep that shit under 5000 RPM.

Plus, I don't even need to point out that that minivan chassis was never intended to provide a stable high speed platform. Sure, it'll be fast, but it'll be about as graceful as a three legged heifer.

Is it bad that everything you said just makes the turbo van appeal to me even more? :lol:

I think it'd be hilarious to drive a crappy van that scares the shit out of you when you get on the gas.
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: Raza on March 04, 2013, 07:40:11 AM
It's girlfriend and not wife for a reason.  Later bitch, I'm changing my name and moving to Canada. 
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: cawimmer430 on March 04, 2013, 09:52:44 AM
Quote from: Raza  on March 04, 2013, 07:40:11 AM
It's girlfriend and not wife for a reason.  Later bitch, I'm changing my name and moving to Canada. 

:lol:
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: NomisR on March 04, 2013, 10:35:14 AM
Quote from: Raza  on March 04, 2013, 07:40:11 AM
It's girlfriend and not wife for a reason.  Later bitch, I'm changing my name and moving to Canada. 

:hesaid:
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: Soup DeVille on March 04, 2013, 10:38:03 AM
Quote from: thecarnut on March 04, 2013, 07:26:07 AM
Is it bad that everything you said just makes the turbo van appeal to me even more? :lol:

I think it'd be hilarious to drive a crappy van that scares the shit out of you when you get on the gas.

Oh no, I understand that, just wanted to share.
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: cawimmer430 on March 04, 2013, 10:46:50 AM
I should have provided a Plymouth Volare Wagon option!  :dance:
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: S204STi on March 04, 2013, 04:51:50 PM
Previa SC
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: AutobahnSHO on March 06, 2013, 08:04:40 AM
Quote from: Soup DeVille on March 03, 2013, 11:16:37 PM
Plus, I don't even need to point out that that minivan chassis was never intended to provide a stable high speed platform. Sure, it'll be fast, but it'll be about as graceful as a three legged heifer.

You. Would. Be. Surprised.    I bought a 92 Voyager in 2004. In Germany. ;) Speedo maxed out at 110mph. Van went faster than speedo. :lol: :lol:   I was running what was probably the stock suspension and it handled surprisingly well for such a package.

Granted that's compared to big Army trucks I was driving at the time but also my SHO (which had much better suspension than a stock Taurus)...
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: Soup DeVille on March 06, 2013, 08:42:52 AM
Quote from: AutobahnSHO on March 06, 2013, 08:04:40 AM
You. Would. Be. Surprised.    I bought a 92 Voyager in 2004. In Germany. ;) Speedo maxed out at 110mph. Van went faster than speedo. :lol: :lol:   I was running what was probably the stock suspension and it handled surprisingly well for such a package.

Granted that's compared to big Army trucks I was driving at the time but also my SHO (which had much better suspension than a stock Taurus)...

110 on the highway is one thing; running a quarter mile in 12 seconds is quite another.
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: cawimmer430 on March 06, 2013, 09:02:33 AM
I have to go meet a client now, but isn't there an R/T version of the current Dodge Grand Caravan?
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: CJ on March 06, 2013, 01:23:03 PM
No. Even then, the R/T was just wheels and a rear wing. Moderately nicer seats and auto-stick!
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: Submariner on March 06, 2013, 11:21:03 PM
Quote from: Eye of the Tiger on March 03, 2013, 11:45:26 AM
5.0 V8, RWD, open headers.

V6 Econoline. 
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: Eye of the Tiger on March 06, 2013, 11:25:27 PM
Quote from: Submariner on March 06, 2013, 11:21:03 PM
V6 Econoline.

shit
Title: Re: MINIVAN MADNESS - The American Version
Post by: cawimmer430 on March 08, 2013, 11:12:57 AM
Quote from: CJ on March 06, 2013, 01:23:03 PM
No. Even then, the R/T was just wheels and a rear wing. Moderately nicer seats and auto-stick!

Can't imagine any soccer mom wanting to track that baby!