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Auto Talk => General Automotive => Topic started by: cawimmer430 on January 03, 2009, 03:08:19 PM

Title: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: cawimmer430 on January 03, 2009, 03:08:19 PM
Spotted my first Pontiac Aztek today. You guys weren't kidding when you said its ugly. Damn!  :mask:

(http://i68.photobucket.com/albums/i31/cawimmer430/Audi%20S8/PONTIAC_01.jpg)

(http://i68.photobucket.com/albums/i31/cawimmer430/Audi%20S8/PONTIAC_02.jpg)

(http://i68.photobucket.com/albums/i31/cawimmer430/Audi%20S8/PONTIAC_03.jpg)
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: the Teuton on January 03, 2009, 03:37:06 PM
Holy crap!  They're Ohio State Buckeyes fans, too!

Look at the sticker on the back window!
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: cawimmer430 on January 03, 2009, 03:46:34 PM
Quote from: the Teuton on January 03, 2009, 03:37:06 PM
Holy crap!  They're Ohio State Buckeyes fans, too!

Look at the sticker on the back window!

Is that good or bad?  :lol:

This car had US Army license plates by the way. What are they doing with an Aztek in Germany? Are they trying to scare people? Imagine what would happen to someone on the Autobahn when they look in their rearview mirror and see this monstrosity behind them? (http://www.germancarzone.com/images/smilies/t-applause.gif)
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: the Teuton on January 03, 2009, 03:49:31 PM
Quote from: cawimmer430 on January 03, 2009, 03:46:34 PM
Is that good or bad?  :lol:

Half the family went there, so it's not completely bad.  Let's just put it that way.  You most likely have an Ohioan on your hands, though.  Seek shelter.


QuoteThis car had US Army license plates by the way. What are they doing with an Aztek in Germany? Are they trying to scare people? Imagine what would happen to someone on the Autobahn when they look in their rearview mirror and see this monstrosity behind them? (http://www.germancarzone.com/images/smilies/t-applause.gif)

Come on, it's not that bad.  Far uglier cars have come out of Europe.
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: cawimmer430 on January 03, 2009, 03:50:07 PM
Quote from: the Teuton on January 03, 2009, 03:49:31 PM
Come on, it's not that bad.  Far uglier cars have come out of Europe.

Like?  :lol:

Citroen Ami?  :lol:
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: ifcar on January 03, 2009, 03:50:54 PM
Quote from: cawimmer430 on January 03, 2009, 03:50:07 PM
Like?  :lol:

Citroen Ami?  :lol:

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/a2/Fiat_Multipla_front_20080825.jpg/400px-Fiat_Multipla_front_20080825.jpg)
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: cawimmer430 on January 03, 2009, 03:51:35 PM
Quote from: ifcar on January 03, 2009, 03:50:54 PM
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/a2/Fiat_Multipla_front_20080825.jpg/400px-Fiat_Multipla_front_20080825.jpg)

I fully agree.  :ohyeah:

But the Multipla's ugly face actually smiles at you - the Aztek sort of gives you a smartass grin.  :tounge:
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: the Teuton on January 03, 2009, 03:58:26 PM
Admit it, Wimmer, you want one.

If you had an Aztek, I'm sure you'd pitch a tent.














































(http://www.nextautos.com/files/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/aztek-camper.jpg)

:lol:
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: cawimmer430 on January 03, 2009, 03:59:13 PM
Quote from: the Teuton on January 03, 2009, 03:58:26 PM
Admit it, Wimmer, you want one.

If you had an Aztek, I'm sure you'd pitch a tent.


Is there one for the front too?  :devil:
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: the Teuton on January 03, 2009, 04:00:54 PM
The Aztek was a great idea built on an adequate platform with an ugly exterior.
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: cawimmer430 on January 03, 2009, 04:04:37 PM
Quote from: the Teuton on January 03, 2009, 04:00:54 PM
The Aztek was a great idea built on an adequate platform with an ugly exterior.

You can say that again. I honestly felt violated when I saw that thing on the street, at least my eyes.  :thumbsup:

Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: Soup DeVille on January 03, 2009, 04:05:27 PM
Quote from: the Teuton on January 03, 2009, 04:00:54 PM
The Aztek was a great idea built on an adequate platform with an ugly exterior.

and a gimmicky, overwrought and ugly interior...
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: 2o6 on January 03, 2009, 05:39:08 PM
Quote from: cawimmer430 on January 03, 2009, 04:04:37 PM
You can say that again. I honestly felt violated when I saw that thing on the street, at least my eyes.  :thumbsup:




That's the better looking version. The 2001 model had ugly black plastic cladding.

(http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/autoreview/400x266/2001-Pontiac-Aztek-01129291990002.jpg)
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: sportyaccordy on January 03, 2009, 05:45:49 PM
Quote from: cawimmer430 on January 03, 2009, 03:59:13 PM
Is there one for the front too?  :devil:
I really don't know why this made me laugh like it did
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: Submariner on January 03, 2009, 08:46:38 PM
Quote from: 2o6 on January 03, 2009, 05:39:08 PM

That's the better looking version. The 2001 model had ugly black plastic cladding.

(http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/autoreview/400x266/2001-Pontiac-Aztek-01129291990002.jpg)

Nothing says awesome like Pontiac's classy plastic cladding.
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: Tave on January 03, 2009, 09:11:34 PM
For such an ugly thing, the one I sat in had a very comfortable ride.
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: redbloodedamerican on January 03, 2009, 09:18:15 PM
Did you know that Rosie O' Donnell has an Aztec and is a big fan of it? She even wrote a shitty, shitty poem about it.
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: Soup DeVille on January 03, 2009, 09:18:46 PM
Quote from: redbloodedamerican on January 03, 2009, 09:18:15 PM
Did you know that Rosie O' Donnell has an Aztec and is a big fan of it? She even wrote a shitty, shitty poem about it.

Good, yet another reason to despise her.
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: 93JC on January 03, 2009, 09:30:13 PM
Quote from: redbloodedamerican on January 03, 2009, 09:18:15 PM
Did you know that Rosie O' Donnell has an Aztec and is a big fan of it? She even wrote a shitty, shitty poem about it.

Aztek :tounge:
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: Soup DeVille on January 03, 2009, 09:40:26 PM
Quote from: 93JC on January 03, 2009, 09:30:13 PM
Aztek :tounge:

Oh,l he wasn't referring to the Italdesign Aztec?
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: 280Z Turbo on January 03, 2009, 09:41:42 PM
The Aztek is a log of poop covered in vomit.

Once you get past the controversial styling, you realize that it's a very mediocre vehicle. It's got that trademark GM cheapness everywhere and the only redeeming quality seems to be cargo room.
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: Laconian on January 03, 2009, 09:49:57 PM
and the tent
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: the Teuton on January 03, 2009, 10:00:41 PM
And nifty capacities and features.
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: 280Z Turbo on January 03, 2009, 10:02:43 PM
Quote from: Laconian on January 03, 2009, 09:49:57 PM
and the tent

Most of that tent is covering the body. What's the point of that? I've slept in vehicles before and that looks like no help.

It must be a PITA to put up.
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: Soup DeVille on January 03, 2009, 10:04:25 PM
Quote from: 280Z Turbo on January 03, 2009, 10:02:43 PM
Most of that tent is covering the body. What's the point of that? I've slept in vehicles before and that looks like no help.

It must be a PITA to put up.

Looks like it'll let you keep the tailgate down and the liftgate up and still be enclosed, so you get a couple more feet of space.
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: Tave on January 04, 2009, 08:42:15 AM
And you could shove all your gear towards the edge of the tent, and free up space in the car.


I'm still eager to find out if I can lie comfortable in the back of the Aveo with the rear seats folded down.
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: rohan on January 04, 2009, 08:49:01 AM
Quote from: cawimmer430 on January 03, 2009, 03:46:34 PM
Is that good or bad?  :lol:

Bad.  Hillbillies- rednecks - pedofiles.  That's all they allow in at that school. 
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: SVT666 on January 04, 2009, 09:19:48 AM
Hey Wimmer, there are boat loads of ugly European cars. :ohyeah:
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: ChrisV on January 04, 2009, 09:20:54 AM
There were a lot of clever features and packaging in those. They drove quite well for a minivan, and were actually BUILT quite well. In AWD form, you could get them for over $10k cheaper than the AWD Montana minivan they were built from, making them a fairly decent value IF you could get past the styling.

(http://www.autoweek.com/images_content/2003_09/aztekmain.jpg)

(http://www.autoweek.com/weekart/2003/0929/aztek4001.jpg)

Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: cawimmer430 on January 04, 2009, 12:31:38 PM
Quote from: rohan on January 04, 2009, 08:49:01 AM
Bad.  Hillbillies- rednecks - pedofiles.  That's all they allow in at that school. 

A job for the cops to come in and clean up.  :ohyeah:
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: cawimmer430 on January 04, 2009, 12:31:58 PM
Quote from: HEMI666 on January 04, 2009, 09:19:48 AM
Hey Wimmer, there are boat loads of ugly European cars. :ohyeah:

Lexus isn't European.  :devil:
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: FoMoJo on January 06, 2009, 02:39:58 PM
The local Rent-a-Wreck agent has one as his 'poster' car.  It's bright yellow with large black "Rent-a-Wreck" lettering all over it.  I smile whenever I see it.
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: r0tor on January 06, 2009, 05:18:34 PM
your know, I think the Asstek is aging pretty well... looking at one today doesn't make me want to vomit any more then 5 years ago
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: giant_mtb on January 07, 2009, 11:47:03 AM
Quote from: the Teuton on January 03, 2009, 03:37:06 PM
Holy crap!  They're Ohio State Buckeyes fans, too!

Look at the sticker on the back window!

An Ohio State fan would drive an Aztec.

:lol:
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: Soup DeVille on January 07, 2009, 03:28:07 PM
Quote from: Tave on January 04, 2009, 08:42:15 AM
And you could shove all your gear towards the edge of the tent, and free up space in the car.


I'm still eager to find out if I can lie comfortable in the back of the Aveo with the rear seats folded down.

I sleep in the front seat of the Civic relatively regularly.
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: S204STi on January 07, 2009, 04:50:02 PM
Quote from: ChrisV on January 04, 2009, 09:20:54 AM
There were a lot of clever features and packaging in those. They drove quite well for a minivan, and were actually BUILT quite well. In AWD form, you could get them for over $10k cheaper than the AWD Montana minivan they were built from, making them a fairly decent value IF you could get past the styling.



lmao, when you said they were built well I about died of laughter... I work on these things regularly and there is nothing nice about them.

And if the crash test results are similar to a Montana there is no way I would let anyone I love drive one.
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: Madman on January 07, 2009, 05:03:05 PM
(http://www.nextautos.com/files/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/aztek-camper.jpg)

Pontiac's efforts to target the hitherto untapped demographic of homeless customers proved to be a miserable failure.

:lol:


Cheers,
Madman of the People
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: ifcar on January 07, 2009, 06:49:59 PM
Quote from: R-inge on January 07, 2009, 04:50:02 PM

And if the crash test results are similar to a Montana there is no way I would let anyone I love drive one.

Not outstanding, but not at that level.

Aztek:
(http://hldi.org/ratings/image.ashx?rh=10&id=1)

Montana:
(http://hldi.org/ratings/image.ashx?rh=67&id=1)


Hm, it actually looks better wrecked than intact. Pontiac should have sold this version.
(http://hldi.org/ratings/image.ashx?rh=10&id=2)
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: the Teuton on January 07, 2009, 07:16:34 PM
When it comes time for my brother to trade in his trusty Taurus, he's probably going to get an Aztek.  He kinda wants one.  Besides it being ugly, I can't find a whole lot of reasons why he shouldn't get one.
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: ifcar on January 07, 2009, 07:21:50 PM
Quote from: the Teuton on January 07, 2009, 07:16:34 PM
When it comes time for my brother to trade in his trusty Taurus, he's probably going to get an Aztek.  He kinda wants one.  Besides it being ugly, I can't find a whole lot of reasons why he shouldn't get one.

Poor visibility, clumsy handling, and mediocre gas mileage?
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: 2o6 on January 07, 2009, 07:27:58 PM
Quote from: ifcar on January 07, 2009, 07:21:50 PM
Poor visibility, clumsy handling, and mediocre gas mileage?


Compared to.........what?
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: ifcar on January 07, 2009, 07:31:34 PM
Quote from: 2o6 on January 07, 2009, 07:27:58 PM

Compared to.........what?

Compared to other car-based compact/midsize SUVs?
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: 2o6 on January 07, 2009, 07:34:17 PM
Quote from: ifcar on January 07, 2009, 07:31:34 PM
Compared to other car-based compact/midsize SUVs?


Wasn't the Aztek one of the first of it's kind? The only one I can think of that is comparable is the Toyota Highlander.
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: ifcar on January 07, 2009, 07:35:56 PM
Quote from: 2o6 on January 07, 2009, 07:34:17 PM

Wasn't the Aztek one of the first of it's kind? The only one I can think of that is comparable is the Toyota Highlander.

If someone is buying used today, there's slightly more to compare it against than the Highlander.
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: S204STi on January 07, 2009, 09:45:31 PM
Quote from: 2o6 on January 07, 2009, 07:34:17 PM

Wasn't the Aztek one of the first of it's kind? The only one I can think of that is comparable is the Toyota Highlander.

I recall that the Aztek and it's sibling the Rendezvous did kinda poorly in contemporary comparos.
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: ChrisV on January 08, 2009, 05:51:59 AM
Quote from: R-inge on January 07, 2009, 04:50:02 PM
lmao, when you said they were built well I about died of laughter... I work on these things regularly and there is nothing nice about them.

And if the crash test results are similar to a Montana there is no way I would let anyone I love drive one.

The fit and lack of rattles was better in them than in other low to mid price GM vehicles at the time, and was one of the things that even the magazines noticed. The couple I've driven bore that out.

And I've let people I love drive my fucking FIAT, which I'm sure would do much poorer than an Aztek. They'll also be riding around (and possibly driving) my '63 Comet, which woudl probably score worse that the worst new car, too. Fucking tired of people too scared to drive a new car that would score better then the old cars we love and often already own and drive.

As far as comparos go, I don't compare it to an SUV, but to AWD minivans, where it was considerably cheaper, and probably still is on the used market.
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: ifcar on January 08, 2009, 08:47:13 AM
Quote from: ChrisV on January 08, 2009, 05:51:59 AM

As far as comparos go, I don't compare it to an SUV, but to AWD minivans, where it was considerably cheaper, and probably still is on the used market.

Why?

It's the size of an AWD SUV and the price of an AWD SUV.
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: omicron on January 08, 2009, 10:36:00 AM
Quote from: ifcar on January 07, 2009, 06:49:59 PM
Not outstanding, but not at that level.

Aztek:
(http://hldi.org/ratings/image.ashx?rh=10&id=1)

Montana:
(http://hldi.org/ratings/image.ashx?rh=67&id=1)


Hm, it actually looks better wrecked than intact. Pontiac should have sold this version.
(http://hldi.org/ratings/image.ashx?rh=10&id=2)

Well, Iffy, I found this witty, even if no-one else did.

*comforts*
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: the Teuton on January 08, 2009, 10:40:53 AM
That middle picture comforts my soul every time I ride in my mom's Venture.
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: FoMoJo on January 08, 2009, 11:26:43 AM
Quote from: ifcar on January 07, 2009, 07:21:50 PM
Poor visibility, clumsy handling, and mediocre gas mileage?
Quote from: ifcar on January 07, 2009, 07:31:34 PM
Compared to other car-based compact/midsize SUVs?
More specifically, the Escape.  People were cross-shopping them when they both arrived in '01.  The other choices were the CR-V and Rav4 which did not appeal to those inclined towards domestics.
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: ChrisV on January 08, 2009, 12:51:39 PM
Quote from: ifcar on January 08, 2009, 08:47:13 AM
Why?

It's the size of an AWD SUV and the price of an AWD SUV.

So's a minivan. But a minivan and SUV target different markets. The Aztek was a cheaper, uglier minivan, not a mid size SUV.
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: FoMoJo on January 08, 2009, 12:53:37 PM
Quote from: ChrisV on January 08, 2009, 12:51:39 PM
So's a minivan. But a minivan and SUV target different markets. The Aztek was a cheaper, uglier minivan, not a mid size SUV.
I believe that some people thought it was; especially with the camper option.
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: ifcar on January 08, 2009, 01:17:35 PM
Quote from: ChrisV on January 08, 2009, 12:51:39 PM
So's a minivan. But a minivan and SUV target different markets. The Aztek was a cheaper, uglier minivan, not a mid size SUV.

The Montana is 18 inches longer than the Aztek, has 50% more cargo space, and seats eight instead of five. The Aztek is no more of a minivan than an a Highlander or Pilot; in fact, it's less, because they're closer to a van in size and passenger capacity.
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: S204STi on January 09, 2009, 04:30:15 PM
Quote from: ChrisV on January 08, 2009, 05:51:59 AM

As far as comparos go, I don't compare it to an SUV, but to AWD minivans, where it was considerably cheaper, and probably still is on the used market.

Which is fine except it's really nothing like a Montana.  I don't even think they share the same chassis code.

Anyway, fit and finish isn't that important to me... I drive an Impreza which has more anti squeek/rattle mitigation than I care to think about, and I'd rather drive your Fiat than an Aztek.
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: ChrisV on January 10, 2009, 09:37:12 AM
I've driven an Aztek. it wasn't that bad, from the inside. ;) And yes, it feels more like a minvan than any SUV I've driven.

Oh, and iffy, the Montana is also that much larger than my dad's older Dodge turbo minivan. Does that mean his Dodge minivan is an SUV?
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: ifcar on January 10, 2009, 11:26:01 AM
The Aztek is one of many car-based SUVs that are based-on or otherwise drive like minivans, and it's much smaller than the minivans of its time.

Again, if it's a minivan, so is most every other car-based SUV.
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: S204STi on January 10, 2009, 12:15:17 PM
Quote from: ChrisV on January 10, 2009, 09:37:12 AM
I've driven an Aztek. it wasn't that bad, from the inside. ;) And yes, it feels more like a minvan than any SUV I've driven.

Oh, and iffy, the Montana is also that much larger than my dad's older Dodge turbo minivan. Does that mean his Dodge minivan is an SUV?


Differences between it and a minivan include but are not limited to: no sliding doors; no 3rd row seating; and higher ride height.

Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: Soup DeVille on January 10, 2009, 04:34:20 PM
Quote from: ifcar on January 10, 2009, 11:26:01 AM
The Aztek is one of many car-based SUVs that are based-on or otherwise drive like minivans, and it's much smaller than the minivans of its time.

Again, if it's a minivan, so is most every other car-based SUV.

Its a minivan pretending to be an SUV.
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: ifcar on January 10, 2009, 05:06:31 PM
Quote from: Soup DeVille on January 10, 2009, 04:34:20 PM
Its a minivan pretending to be an SUV.

Again, no more than any other car-based SUV and less than many.
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: Soup DeVille on January 10, 2009, 07:11:04 PM
Quote from: ifcar on January 10, 2009, 05:06:31 PM
Again, no more than any other car-based SUV and less than many.

I never said that was unique.
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: AutobahnSHO on January 10, 2009, 11:39:13 PM
My in-laws had an Asstek for quite a while.

Drove a'right on snow.
Seated 5.
Hella trunk.
[/my opinion]
Title: Re: ***Ah! My Eyes! Holy Crap!***
Post by: BimmerM3 on January 11, 2009, 10:40:13 AM
My friend's dad used to drive a Rendezvous. I never drove it, but I remember thinking the interior was actually quite nice.