"Italian reliability, Japanese style" and other must see ditties

[red_shift]

 
http://www.chelfing.com/page3.htm

Notable on their website:

"Womans side AirBag"

"15? Steel Wheels type ?Rotate?"

"16? Alloy Wheels type ?Revolve?"

17? Alloy Wheels type ?Round?"

The hideous monstrosity is called 'Lunge' - 




 

[nickdrinkwater]

Looks like a Ssangyong!

[red_shift]

Keep reading. From their 'Racing Heritage':

"After an eventful start, when 4 of the 5 BMWs entered suffered mechanical failures on the startline (not something you get with a Chelfing Razzle), the 3 Razzles driven by the official Chelfing works team took an early lead. 5 laps in and the Razzle number 69 driven by Rich Tuckwell suffered a minor collision with a Mercedes C Class, which was forced to retire, although the robust Razzle continued. Lap 16 saw the Honda Civic type R suffer an engine failure, and later in the same lap, the remaining BMW span off on a stray chicken on turn 3 and collided with some of the foreign press. "


If you can't beat them, sabotage, collide, or send a stray chicken!!!!?

[red_shift]

Gosh this is so hilarious, I can't stop laughing.

"Smog lights" are standard, apparently. So they don't have fog at all, only smog?

[MX793]

Special Offer ! This month only, test drive a Razzle at any participating dealer, and get a free kitten. Kitten will be your faithful friend forever ! See participating dealer for information, or email us your name, address and contact email to mail@chelfing.com. Offer time limited, Chelfing reserves the right to substitute a cat for the kitten after certain timeframe.

Ahahaha!

[red_shift]

This is obviously a satire site, but fun nevertheless.

[Soup DeVille]

"Koalaskin seat covers. World Wildlife Fund Inspectors authority not valid in China ! Covers made from prime Koala skin, with elasticated edge for fitment to any automobile, adds unique style to your automobile. $80 per seat."

Me wants.

[red_shift]

So this is satire, but check out reality:

www.geely.com

"Geely will go with you for a happy life"

"BEYOND_the_value"    (copying does not stop with shapes, it extends to ther company's taglines)

"CK is a brand new superior model developed with a three-year joint effort of over 1000 technicians from Geely Holding Group and (Korea) Daewoo Intentional. It?s a benchmark of China?s self-developed model"   
(self developed -  as in copied from other automakers, getting help from Koreans?)

[Secret Chimp]

" A drivers airbag is standard fitment, and pedestrian crash testing at the renowned Nanjing University test center revealed no significant vehicle damage at speeds of up to 55 mph."

[giant_mtb]

"...the mighty USA made V8 5.7 liter gasoline engine with 180 horses power..."


A 5.7L V8 with 180 HP?!  That's disgusting!  Surely, it must be an error.

EDIT:  Don't forget the respectable 0-60 time of 15.3 seconds!  With a robust 19.1 for the diesel! 

[Raghavan]

[Colonel Cadillac]

"Speed Stripes"

[Colonel Cadillac]

Special offer ! This month only, test drive a Lunge at any participating dealer, and get a free weekend for 2 in exotic Macau. Wow ! Weekend includes flights, hotel and transfers for you and your Mistress. All the alcohol you can consume and all the fermented soyabean you can eat ! All inclusive ! See participating dealer for information, or simply email mail@chelfing.com with your name, address and contact email. Offer strictly limited, first come first served, good luck !

[Colonel Cadillac]

http://www.chelfing.com/page4.htm

The Razzle Sport!

[giant_mtb]

The caption at the top of the photo gallery:

"Gaze on the beauty that Chelfing Automotive has created for your driving ecstasy."


LOL

[red_shift]

As funny as Chelfing Automotive is, it is undoubtedly inspired by the real thing here:

http://www.geely-global.com/about_geely/about_geely_1.asp?about_sort=3

Snippet from the blurb about the CEO of Geely, a real automaker from China

"Mr. Li Shufu adopts democratic style and works resolutely. Before making decision, he can draw on the wisdom of the masses, learn widely from others' strong points, modestly listen to the opinions of experts, scholars and other members of the management and conduct market investigation and feasibility study. Once a decision is made, he is firm in his purpose, adopts vigorous and resolute style of work and does not give up until the goal is attained. Few of the important decisions made by him in the past over 10 years were wrong so that the company has always kept high-speed growth toward the correct direction"

[giant_mtb]

Yeah, we'll see what happens when they stop yapping and actually bring their POS cars over here and they don't sell a single hundred of 'em.

Come to think of it, it might be worth buying one just for comedic value.  Think of how much they'll be worth some day.  "This was, like, the shittiest car back in the early 2000's...it's from CHINA!"

[Raghavan]

Yeah, we'll see what happens when they stop yapping and actually bring their POS cars over here and they don't sell a single hundred of 'em.

I'd buy a couple of them. And then enter them into a demolition derby.

[93JC]

More..

"Geely thrill [sic] the US Auto Industry"

http://www.geely-global.com/about_geely/event_news_detail.asp?news_id=51

These folks are simply unbelievable. They even cast doubt about their own car's potential in the above link. They also go on about how important it is not to upset US automakers facing tough challeneges from Japanese automakers. Hilarious.

"The one pace of Geely, may well be the great pace of the Chinese Auto industry, and the model CK, take non-significant compare with the other models of other Magnates, who knows, may write its own profound impact in the International Auto industry."

The shocking part of this is that it's EXACTLY how many of the FOB Chinese immigrants sound. It's uncanny.

It's hilarious.

[red_shift]

More..

"Geely thrill [sic] the US Auto Industry"

http://www.geely-global.com/about_geely/event_news_detail.asp?news_id=51

These folks are simply unbelievable. They even cast doubt about their own car's potential in the above link. They also go on about how important it is not to upset US automakers facing tough challeneges from Japanese automakers. Hilarious.

"The one pace of Geely, may well be the great pace of the Chinese Auto industry, and the model CK, take non-significant compare with the other models of other Magnates, who knows, may write its own profound impact in the International Auto industry."

[heelntoe]

haha, the razzle sport is a daewoo cielo.

[ChrisV]

BWAHAHAHA! This is soo funny. And sounds soo accurate....

[ChrisV]

Woah, 93JC time-travelled. Shades of the old C&D forums...

[red_shift]

Woah, 93JC time-travelled. Shades of the old C&D forums...

No it was me. Somehow, while doing other things, I found a way to accidentally delete my previous post.
I resurrected it later. 

CarSPIN is 100% better than C&D. 

[Vinsanity]

Unique ?blade? alloys are an industry first, a single blade suspends the wheel on the hub reducing road weight, improving performance.

I put a nice set of Gram Lights on my tirerack.com wish list for the Acura, but now I know what rimz I REALLY want!

[etypeJohn]

I love it.  Especially the Prune.  Someone spent a lot of time making that site.


Economy ? The statistics tell the story. 65 mpg based on the standard Gasoline/Mistersheen/CNG fuel, or 60 mpg* on the Gasoline/Windoleen/CNG fuel as used in the Prune XXX turbo model. Frugal driving sees a range of 100 miles* (160 Km) on a full tank, or alternatively you can enjoy speeds of up to 190 mph* on the highway, for a brief period. How does the technology work ? Well, Chelfing Automotive couples your waste compressed natural gas (CNG) from your water closet, with regular gasoline, and adds a 3rd ingredient (Mistersheen or Windoleen depending on model). The fuel is then stored in a small sphere (pictured above) that easily fits in your living room, which can then be transferred by bucket to the Prune. Chelfing Automotive is on the brink of bringing this unique fuel to the petrol station forecourt with a joint venture with BP and Shell, meaning you never have to carry spare buckets of fuel with you on long journeys. So, save your wallet, and save the environments. You?ll really go with a Prune !

[Laconian]

Holy crap. The Geely site IS better than Chelfing!! check this out:
http://www.geely-global.com/cars/hq/focus.html

Its old name is "HS"
It is belong to HQ family.Some body want lager space to put package when they go to travel.HQ(S-RV) will be your best choose,because it has a large space that ni can put more baggage.

I want lots of lager space! :drink:
And look at that Engrish: "large space  that ni can put more baggage" ("ni"=you)

[S204STi]

Ahahaha!

[565]

Actually Chinglish is a huge a problem in China.? I was just visiting back in China last week and saw the extent of the problem.? Alot of the English signs and postings were very poorly written.? While it was always possible to figure out what they were trying to say, it seemed rather awkward to read.? Another problem is that despite the poor English, we Chinese seem extremely eager to slap English onto anything; package labels, street signs, various advertisements.? The worst example was the "English" poems on my cousins wedding photo album. To say that they were painful to read would be like saying getting your arms cleaved off would be only mildly unpleasant.? The words of the poem were all translated correctly, but the structure reflects the Chinese order of words rather than the English ones.? I think it's much more difficult for the eastern Asians to learn English compared to Europeans because the European languages are all rather related in both words and language structure, while the Asian languages tend to be completely different.? When most people speak a foreign language, they form the sentence in their native language and translate all the words, this method is disastrous when going from Chinese to English.? To compound the problem, almost every Chinese school boy learns English from a young age, but the teachers are rarely completely fluent themselves.? There simply aren't enough native or semi native English teachers to handle the simply massive amounts of students in China.? So almost every Chinese highschool graduate has a basic grasp of English, but almost none can master it completely.? Foreign language study in universities is never seen as the ends, only as a means to study abroad in a science related discipline, so once they get enough English or French or German to survive in their respective target countries, they leave.

[the_koof]

Very funny! Someone definitely has way too much time on their hands.

Love this:

"The Razzle has the largest wing-mirrors in its class too, a sporty feature from a sporty company."