Audi V8 Quattro

[Soup DeVille]

I have other issues to deal with first, like CV joints, timing belts, and transmission dipsticks.

You've lost your dipstick?

[TheIntrepid]

Actually, it does, but I couldn't find the button to switch from the clock to the other functions on the display, which included MPG.

My car hasn't hit the highway in a couple weeks and my average fuel economy for the last two tanks is 18.6MPG. That's with hard acceleration and only city driving (i.e. below 110km/h)

[the Teuton]

I have other issues to deal with first, like CV joints, timing belts, and transmission dipsticks.

Yeah, those sound like better things to spend money on right now.  I can't wait to see the damn thing in 8 months.

[Eye of the Tiger]

You've lost your dipstick?

It doesn't come with a trans dipstick, just plug in the hole. It's supposed to keep stupid people from checking the trans fluid improperly (like with the engine off and cold). I have to go to an Audi dealer and order a transmission "tool" (a.k.a. a dipstick)

[Soup DeVille]

It doesn't come with a trans dipstick, just plug in the hole. It's supposed to keep stupid people from checking the trans fluid improperly (like with the engine off and cold). I have to go to an Audi dealer and order a transmission "tool" (a.k.a. a dipstick)

Oh yes. I tend to forget how Germans think sometimes: Especially what they think of Americans.

[TheIntrepid]

It doesn't come with a trans dipstick, just plug in the hole. It's supposed to keep stupid people from checking the trans fluid improperly (like with the engine off and cold). I have to go to an Audi dealer and order a transmission "tool" (a.k.a. a dipstick)

Nick at a dealer? Blasphemy!

[Eye of the Tiger]

Nick at a dealer? Blasphemy!

What am I supposed to do, forge my own dipstick from iron bar stock?

[TheIntrepid]

What am I supposed to do, forge my own dipstick from iron bar stock?

Yes.

Have you put flam3z on it yet?

[the Teuton]

Oh yes. I tend to forget how Germans think sometimes: Especially what they think of Americans.

The guy who imported the Smart (remember my mini write-up "I are smart!) said he actually fabricated an oil and tranny dipstick because MB didn't think anyone really needed them.  It should all be done by the dealer, I guess.

[Eye of the Tiger]

Yes.

Have you put flam3z on it yet?

That's not gonna happen. It's just too damn classy for flamez.

[TheIntrepid]

That's not gonna happen. It's just too damn classy for flamez.

And the 'st33m was too practical for flam3z, being a wagon and all.

[Vinsanity]

Oh yes. I tend to forget how Germans think sometimes: Especially what they think of Americans.

do they think we don't know how to use cupholders, either?

but seriously, is this the same reason BMW did away with the dipstick?

I swear, we give some people too much credit

[Soup DeVille]

do they think we don't know how to use cupholders, either?

but seriously, is this the same reason BMW did away with the dipstick?

I swear, we give some people too much credit

A German engineer I once worked with summed it up best.

"An American cannot walk by a button without pressing it. A German would never think of pressing any button unless he has thoroughly reviewed the instructions on what it does, why it's there and how it works. The American simply presses the button and finds out. This is why we have passwords on all of the machines we send to the US."

And yes, the cupholder thing is from the same line of thought. You are driving. You aren't drinking. They don't put pedals and steering wheels on beerhall tables and they don't put cupholders in cars. You are incapable of doing both.

[Soup DeVille]

What am I supposed to do, forge my own dipstick from iron bar stock?

A forged dipstick is sort of overkill I think. You should simply carve one out of wood.

[Soup DeVille]

That's not gonna happen. It's just too damn classy for flamez.

Its too classy for stick-on flames.

You need proper painted on and hand pinstriped ghost flames in metallic gunmetal.

[Eye of the Tiger]

A forged dipstick is sort of overkill I think. You should simply carve one out of wood.

Carving wood is boring. I want to build a forge and forge stuff! That would be rather neat.

[the Teuton]

Carving wood is boring. I want to build a forge and forge stuff! That would be rather neat.

This car better be the bomb dot com.  It sounds like you got a real buy.

[Soup DeVille]

Carving wood is boring. I want to build a forge and forge stuff! That would be rather neat.

Yes it would, but you've better things to do.

Besides, if you were a blacksmith, you'd have a beeter expplanation for why your right arm is more developped than your left.

[Eye of the Tiger]

Yes it would, but you've better things to do.

Besides, if you were a blacksmith, you'd have a beeter expplanation for why your right arm is more developped than your left.

I wonder if my universty offers a blacksmith degree... 

[Vinsanity]

A German engineer I once worked with summed it up best.

"An American cannot walk by a button without pressing it. A German would never think of pressing any button unless he has thoroughly reviewed the instructions on what it does, why it's there and how it works. The American simply presses the button and finds out. This is why we have passwords on all of the machines we send to the US."

And yes, the cupholder thing is from the same line of thought. You are driving. You aren't drinking. They don't put pedals and steering wheels on beerhall tables and they don't put cupholders in cars. You are incapable of doing both.

Wow. Well it's one thing for the engineers to be smug, but does it have to rub off on the drivers, as well?

[Soup DeVille]

Wow. Well it's one thing for the engineers to be smug, but does it have to rub off on the drivers, as well?

Yes.

[Eye of the Tiger]

This car better be the bomb dot com.  It sounds like you got a real buy.

It sure drives like the bomb diddly dot diddly com! It's the best $900 I've ever spent, as far as I can tell.

[Vinsanity]

Its too classy for stick-on flames.

You need proper painted on and hand pinstriped ghost flames in metallic gunmetal.

I know he was kidding about the flames, but I think a bold but elegant pinstripe that follows the lines of the car would look awesome 

[Soup DeVille]

I wonder if my universty offers a blacksmith degree... 

They do, put you have to take calc IV and differential equations to get into that program.

[the Teuton]

It sure drives like the bomb diddly dot diddly com! It's the best $900 I've ever spent, as far as I can tell.

You know, you only spent $100 more on it than I did for my wagon.  That's why I'm so amazed.  It sounds as if you have the bargaining skills of my father.

[Soup DeVille]

I know he was kidding about the flames, but I think a bold but elegant pinstripe that follows the lines of the car would look awesome 

Yes it would. Thick red/ thin grey perhaps.

[Eye of the Tiger]

They do, put you have to take calc IV and differential equations to get into that program.

[Soup DeVille]

You know, you only spent $100 more on it than I did for my wagon.  That's why I'm so amazed.  It sounds as if you have the bargaining skills of my father.

You think that's bad? It's like $15,000 less than I spent on the Civic!

[Eye of the Tiger]

You know, you only spent $100 more on it than I did for my wagon.  That's why I'm so amazed.  It sounds as if you have the bargaining skills of my father.

I'm not really that skilled at bargaining. The seller told me he could see that I would take good care of it, so he didn't mind knocking the price down. Like I said, he was a nice guy.

[Vinsanity]

Yes it would. Thick red/ thin grey perhaps.

exactly what I was thinking!