Would you buy a used luxury car from this dealer?

[Madman]

There's this dealer in the UK who seems to have a fetish for sticking extra badges and Nurburgring stickers on all of his cars.

http://www.hicalibrecars.com/stock.htm

The website is a bit of a pain to navagate, but the photos are so worth it!  But wait, it gets better.  Check out the flowery prose that accompanies all of the listings, most of which appear to be sold, BTW.

Some real gems in here:

"Her leather is absolutely supple and dreamy, the carpeting is the just the opposite of coarse and utilitarian weaves found in some of her competition, the woods are gorgeous and even the plastics feel somehow very un-plasticy. Audi colour-matches its plush interior with soft suede leather and then spreads it around in perfect proportions on the doors as well as the headliner."


And more creative writing at it's best!

"Add to this a gigantic twisting force in the form of humongous mid-range torque and with the resulting snarly twin exhaust that puts a manic grin on any ones face, you effortlessly accelerate like a cheetah on the hunt swiftly darting from corner to corner sweeping through the apexes of winding country roads with the animal grip of Quattro all-wheel drive, your senses are re-assured as this power is effortlessly and flawlessly poured through all her four paws. The result is a very high standard of handling and ride. The driver can also select a ?sport? setting to firm up the ride. The Audi?s dynamic capability and responses are big safety elements, but there are also front and side airbags, anti-whiplash head restraints and the body shell that is extremely strong. Audi truly comes closer to the F1 experience in a sports saloon than anything else does whether you use the gear shift or keep it in automatic or pop it into Sport mode. A delicious car that is the visible expression of technological perfection through innovation and embodiment of ingenious design. A car that has been painstakingly created by the very best of Ingolstadt for the discriminating in you. An incredible value at only_?27,500"


I'm still laughing over this bit of fine prose:

"This sleek, surreptitious dark gray Audi, sharks through the traffic effortlessly, scattering seemingly battered mass-produced bodies on wheels before it, like a startled school of minnows. In front, she has a striking one-piece trapezoidal grill that bisects the bumper, which in turn flanked by wide cut intimidating twin air intakes feeding her coolers"


Here are some photos to whet your appetite!


.



Oh, no!  He's even stuck badges to the f@#$ing steering wheel!?!?!





Cheers,
Madman of the People

[ChrisV]

hahahaha! I usually ignore flowery prose, but I can't get past the horrid watermarking on the pictures.

[the Teuton]

Does Trep work there or something?

[FlatBlackCaddy]

cheesy sums it up nicely(the extra badge work).

That X5 is the biggest offender, i like how all the badges have different script.

The italic font of the porsche turbo badge really meshes well with the(what appears to be) suzuki full time 4wd block font.

[FlatBlackCaddy]

I totally missed the //M badge and the little ovals on the mid gate and side pillars.

What a idiot....he missed a bunch of room on the bumper. I would have liked to see a fuel injected badge as well as a LX badge and maybe sprinkle in a avant badge here and there.

[FlatBlackCaddy]

Ohh and to answer your original question, NO.

I would not touch a car from this dealer, god knows what else is wrong with these that he won't tell you(and apparently what a shiny badge will fix).

[Laconian]

Is that A8 also a Police Interceptor?

[FlatBlackCaddy]

Is that A8 also a Police Interceptor?

No....It's the platinum edition interceptor eddie bauer special

[Byteme]

"This sleek, surreptitious dark gray Audi, sharks through the traffic effortlessly, ..."

I really dislike the trend of turning nouns into verbs. 

[Laconian]

"As this stunning black beauty gathers up her skirt, and positively slingshots herself up any gradient with masses of torque, arguably as one of the fastest SUV on the roads today"

LOL!

[Submariner]

Well, aside from the fact that the car posted is not in fact a Supercharged V8, the watermarking is infuriating, and must you really highlight every other fucking line of text?

[Vinsanity]

What they should do to add credibility is this: create a Youtube account, and have a guy narrate these eloquently-written paragraphs in the style of Robin Leach over a slideshow of stock photos of the cars. That would be way classy.

Otherwise, the place seems pretty legit

[nickdrinkwater]

You took this from Pistonheads didn't you!

http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&t=582074&nmt=Man,%20Has%20This%20Dealer%20Got%20A%20Badge%20Fetish%20Or%20What?

[Madman]

You took this from Pistonheads didn't you!

http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&t=582074&nmt=Man,%20Has%20This%20Dealer%20Got%20A%20Badge%20Fetish%20Or%20What?

Found it through a different site, but it sure seems word of this dealer is getting around!  Maybe he should franchise his operation or at least start selling his own range of badges?  What I wouldn't give to turn my "Volvo 740 Turbo" into a "Volvo 740 Turbo GT-R Full Time ALL Wheel Drive 2300Ti Super Sport Special Edition with Handling by Lotus"!    Oh, and don't forget the requisite Nurburgring sticker.

The guy writing his ad copy must be leaving a trail of bullshit a mile wide everywhere he goes!!!


Cheers,
Madman of the People

[Raza]

I don't know about you, but I really want that X5 Sport Turbo M Sport 3.0SD ESE Nurburgring Edition with Full Time 4WD.

[USA_Idol]

I don't know about you, but I really want that X5 Sport Turbo M Sport 3.0SD ESE Nurburgring Edition with Full Time 4WD.

"Floor the right pedal of this true Sports Utility Vehicle [SUV] into its deep pile carpet, this 3.0-litre 2.7tonnes powerhouse with multi-speed cruise control instantly comes alive as she roars into action achieving an incredible 0-60mph in 6.8secs. As this stunning black beauty gathers up her skirt, and positively slingshots herself up any gradient with masses of torque, arguably as one of the fastest SUV on the roads today, she leaves majority of the fastest petrol-engine sports cars floundering in her wake, all very intimidated and left totally inadequate."

You know, I must have one now. 

[Raza]

"Floor the right pedal of this true Sports Utility Vehicle [SUV] into its deep pile carpet, this 3.0-litre 2.7tonnes powerhouse with multi-speed cruise control instantly comes alive as she roars into action achieving an incredible 0-60mph in 6.8secs. As this stunning black beauty gathers up her skirt, and positively slingshots herself up any gradient with masses of torque, arguably as one of the fastest SUV on the roads today, she leaves majority of the fastest petrol-engine sports cars floundering in her wake, all very intimidated and left totally inadequate."

You know, I must have one now. 

Too bad it's not the Type R GT-R edition.

[Laconian]

Too bad it's not the Type R GT-R edition.

I hear that's a $1900 dealer-added option.

I wonder if I could have the FULL TIME 4WD upgraded to Super Handling AWD? Every BMW needs Super Handling!

[Raza]

I hear that's a $1900 dealer-added option.

I wonder if I could have the FULL TIME 4WD upgraded to Super Handling AWD? Every BMW needs Super Handling!

Super Handling AWD Type S Type R 1000RR GTi dCi!

[giant_mtb]

"...and a colossal 330-BHP resulting in an exhilarating 0-60mph in 5.7 secs or in simpler terms; 0 to delicious in no time at all."