Laos to Bangkok: On the Road Less Traveled

[BMWDave]

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Praise the Lord and Pass the Iguana
By: Alistair Weaver

Date Posted 09-01-2005

The town of Van Vieng lies in eastern Laos, some 150 miles north of the capital of Vientiane. It's a haven for backpackers, but behind the fa?ade of Internet cafes, souvenir shops and TV bars lies a country living in the grip of communist rule. Even the Buddhist monks are educated in the ways of Marx, while electricity is still a distant dream for most of the rural population.

There are some who would suggest that it's wrong to drive a $56,750 Range Rover Sport through such an environment, especially one painted Tangiers Orange. But there is a reason for our journey. Next year, a leg of the Land Rover G4 Challenge adventure race will be held in Laos, bringing with it a convoy of 60 vehicles and a welcome injection of cash.

My 390-hp V8 Sport HSE is the only one in the country and was shipped out here to take part in a recce (reconnaissance trip). Its work is now complete and I'm tasked with driving it from Van Vieng to Bangkok, Thailand, from where it will be shipped back to the U.K. It's a journey that will take us from the heart of the Laos jungle to the busy, polluted streets of the Thai capital.

The rain stops overnight and the sun rises to reveal one of God's finest creations. Most of our impressions of Southeast Asia are garnered from Vietnam War movies, but those tales of death and destruction belie a natural environment that's among the most beautiful in the world. Van Vieng lies on the edge of the Nam Song River and is framed by dramatic limestone hilltops. Breakfast is taken watching locals potter across a small, ramshackle bridge.

Land Rover is keen to present the Range Rover Sport as an urban SUV for soccer moms, but the image greeting me in the car park is very different. Smeared in mud and accessorized with a winch, spotlights and a roof rack, the Sport looks mean and moody. It should be the perfect vehicle for this trip, but I fear for the complexity of its electronic systems ? if it goes wrong in the jungle, no one will hear us scream.

Most of the "roads" in Laos are formed from orangey earth, which contrasts dramatically with the lush green landscape. We bumble along at 30-40 mph with the big V8 scarcely ticking over. With the air-con maintaining a steady 20 degrees Celsius (68 degrees Fahrenheit) and my iPod singing sweet tunes, the whole experience feels surreal. The view out bears no relation to the leather-lined luxury of the cabin.

From time to time we pass old U.S. military trucks and Jeeps, which are reminders of Laos' secret war. From 1962-1973, 1.9 million tons of bombs were dropped here, making Laos the most heavily bombed country, per capita, in the history of warfare. Back then, the operation was described, cryptically, as "the other theater."

We stop for refreshment in the market town of Ban Tha. With little or no meaningful refrigeration available, the local traders sell most of their food live. I'm offered an iguana with its legs tied together, and a bowl of frogs with wooden spikes piercing their limbs. Southeast Asia is not for the queasy.

Leaving the traders to their labor, I cross the road to inspect one of the country's most appealing curiosities. Proper vehicles are beyond the reach of most, so the locals have conjured a makeshift solution. The Tak-Tak features a simple internal combustion engine and can serve as transportation, a plough, a water pump or even as a generator. It's a one-stop shop for all your automotive needs, and it's brilliant.

I'm introduced to Kampoung, a 25-year-old rice farmer, who motions me on board. Tak-Taks have a fixed front differential, so to turn you must pull a handle to release the diff, while also operating the hand throttle and brake. I set off around some wasteland in a manner that must resemble a Monty Python sketch. A Tak-Tak is astonishingly heavy to drive, and mastering one is not the work of a moment. After an aborted figure-eight, I'm happy to hand it back.

Back to the Land Rover and out into the rural villages. Laos is poor by Western standards ? its GDP is $1,900 per capita, compared with the U.S.'s $40,100 ? but its people are well nourished and the housing, much of which is built on stilts, is of a decent standard. The people also seem genuinely happy. The spirit of m?an (fun) is central to the Laotian culture and the elimination of psychological stress is a national preoccupation.

We stop in a place called Nakoum and meet the village elder. Thit Phone is 52 years old, but looks older. He has spent his entire life in this tiny collection of buildings, which now plays home to six families and 40 people. All are rice farmers. "Life changed 20 years ago when the road opened," he recalls, "Soon we will have electricity, but many of the young are leaving for the city." A few yards away, one of his granddaughters is weaving silk with a skill and speed that's breathtaking.

It would be fascinating to spend more time with Phone and his family, but we must reach the Thai border by 6 a.m. tomorrow. A few miles on from Nakoum, we reach the Nam Lik River, which is impassable by car. Thankfully, a small raft appears to carry us across. It's operated by a pair of locals and powered by a tiny outboard motor.

The enterprise is run by Bounmy, who lives on the riverbank. The ferry is open 24/7, but he receives only a handful of customers each day. When the G4 Challenge is in town Bounmy could be confronted by the arrival of 60 vehicles.

Several miles later we arrive at the Nam Song River. The water is shallower here, so we raise the air suspension, select the Sport's "Rock Crawl" setting and wade into the river. Much to the astonishment of the locals, this luxury SUV simply lifts up its skirt and tiptoes across with a minimum of fuss.

By nightfall we're in Vientiane, the closest city to Thailand, both geographically and culturally. After two days in the jungle, it feels strange to be confronted by proper streets, multistory structures and television. Here in the capital, it's possible to see the green shoots of capitalism poking through.

We're up early next morning to cross the border into the Kingdom of Thailand. The Thai-Lao friendship bridge, which spans the Mekong River, was only completed in 1993 and links the two countries. It only takes a couple of minutes to drive across but it's like entering a different age. The simple dirt roads are replaced by multilane highways, proper service stations and that telltale symbol of economic development, the McDonald's restaurant.

The road to Bangkok is quick, straight and boring, but it gives me a chance to think. The Range Rover Sport is a fine vehicle that mixes off-road prowess with good on-road dynamics. It also looks good and the cabin's terrific, but I still can't help feeling that the modern Land Rover has become irrelevant in the developing world. The LR3, Range Rover and Range Rover Sport are all too expensive and too complex to make sense in Laos. Land Rover is fast losing touch with its roots.

A haze of smog on the horizon signals the arrival of Bangkok. The "city of angels" is a heaving mass of 6 million people, most of whom seem to be permanently on the road. Modern vehicles mix with three-wheeler "Put-Put" taxis to create an exhausting mix of heat, noise and pollution.

Bangkok's vibrant sex industry tends to grab the headlines, which is a shame because this city has a vast and engaging culture. The G4 Challenge will kick off in front of the Grand Palace next year and the sight of 60 orange Land Rovers and 18 teams should be quite a spectacle.

Like the Range Rover Sport, the G4 concept has been designed to appeal to urban tastes. Land Rover would like us to think that its image has moved on and that while its vehicles are still brilliant at crossing Southeast Asia, they are now better suited to downtown Manhattan. In other words, they are now cars for the kind of people who wear sneakers to the bar, but never to the gym. It's an expedient philosophy, but the company must be careful that in chasing X5-women, it doesn't risk losing its soul.

[thewizard16]

Didn't read the whole article, but that sure is an attractive SUV.

[BMWDave]

Didn't read the whole article, but that sure is an attractive SUV.

Best looking SUV on the market, IMO.  Though the Range Rover and G Wagon are close seconds.  It combines with classic RR look with a sportiness not seen before.  I love it.

[Raghavan]

nice. i like the lifty air suspension thingy.

[Raza]

That looks like more fun than it should be.  

We should do it.  Let's take Dave's Land Rover!

[BMWDave]

That looks like more fun than it should be.  

We should do it.  Let's take Dave's Land Rover!

:D

[Tom]

Didn't read the whole article, but that sure is an attractive SUV.

Best looking SUV on the market, IMO.  Though the Range Rover and G Wagon are close seconds.  It combines with classic RR look with a sportiness not seen before.  I love it.

I agree.  It's a beautiful truck  

That photography is excellent btw.