An automotive technician's rant.

[giant_mtb]

That's weird because sometimes when the battery is disconnected or replaced in a few cars, you have to re-synchronize the wipers with a manufacturer specific scan tool. Otherwise the wiper arms slam into the cowl, or self destruct on the windshield trim. Welcome to 2014! 

My wipers have a "service mode" where they pop up half way. Presumably so it's easier to change the wipers. Haven't had to yet, though.

[Soup DeVille]

That's weird because sometimes when the battery is disconnected or replaced in a few cars, you have to re-synchronize the wipers with a manufacturer specific scan tool. Otherwise the wiper arms slam into the cowl, or self destruct on the windshield trim. Welcome to 2014! 

Its weird that they don't re-teach themselves after a power loss. They could of course, run that routine automatically upon re-boot; but anything to make people go to the dealership I guess.

[AutobahnSHO]

It's not just friggin' cars.
Network equipment is already complex, right???  But in my realm they just multiplied the complex by like 20x...   Sigh. Kid soldiers already don't have a clue..

[Onslaught]

Hell, even if you know how to fix something you sometimes can't get to it on the side of the road. Some modern cars require you to take off the front bumper to then take out the headlamps just to change a bulb.

[MX793]

Hell, even if you know how to fix something you sometimes can't get to it on the side of the road. Some modern cars require you to take off the front bumper to then take out the headlamps just to change a bulb.

I have a hard time justifying paying somebody to "change a lightbulb", but you're right; it's gotten to be a huge PITA in newer cars.  There's just enough space for me to slip my hand in to replace the passenger's bulb on my Mazda, but the first time I did it I damn near took the coolant reservoir out so I could both get my hand in and be able to see the retainer clip that I had a hell of a time unfastening just by feel.  Driver's side requires removing a small plastic panel, but it's only held on by 3 captive screws and once it's off it's actually relatively easy to do.

[Onslaught]

I have a hard time justifying paying somebody to "change a lightbulb", but you're right; it's gotten to be a huge PITA in newer cars.  There's just enough space for me to slip my hand in to replace the passenger's bulb on my Mazda, but the first time I did it I damn near took the coolant reservoir out so I could both get my hand in and be able to see the retainer clip that I had a hell of a time unfastening just by feel.  Driver's side requires removing a small plastic panel, but it's only held on by 3 captive screws and once it's off it's actually relatively easy to do.

On many cars you can jack them up and remove the fender liner and get your hands up to the back side of the light. It works with some but not all cars. And even when you do you're not supposed to touch the glass on the bulb when changing them. And it's hard to put the bulb in going in like that without touching it.

I can't tell you how many times I'd put a front end on a car to find a light was out and have to take it apart again just to change it. I learned really fast to fucking check everything before bolting stuff up.

[MX793]

On many cars you can jack them up and remove the fender liner and get your hands up to the back side of the light. It works with some but not all cars. And even when you do you're not supposed to touch the glass on the bulb when changing them. And it's hard to put the bulb in going in like that without touching it.

I can't tell you how many times I'd put a front end on a car to find a light was out and have to take it apart again just to change it. I learned really fast to fucking check everything before bolting stuff up.

I keep some nitrile rubber gloves around the house for when I'm doing anything with chemicals and I'll sometimes use those when changing a bulb to avoid touching the bulb.  It's OK to touch the bulb with something dry and clean, it's touching the bulb with your bare hands, or anything that might leave some oil residue on the bulb, that's the problem.

[Onslaught]

I keep some nitrile rubber gloves around the house for when I'm doing anything with chemicals and I'll sometimes use those when changing a bulb to avoid touching the bulb.  It's OK to touch the bulb with something dry and clean, it's touching the bulb with your bare hands, or anything that might leave some oil residue on the bulb, that's the problem.

Yes, I seem to have a reaction to almost any glove like that. My skin hates that shit but I use them when I must. It's one of the reasons I don't use condoms too!!!

[Byteme]

Yes, I seem to have a reaction to almost any glove like that. My skin hates that shit but I use them when I must. It's one of the reasons I don't use condoms too!!!

Good thing, the lubricant on the condoms would probably contaminate the bulb.


I wear a pair of cheap cotton gloves when changing headlight bulbs.   The kind of gloves you see the finicky types wearing while they clean their cars at concours.

[Byteme]

Dude, come on. You'd have to hit your car with the wipers to damage them during installation. Like wind up and smack the windshield.

The guy's belt buckle can put some really nice scraches on the paint.   IMHO, if you're a guy and you  can't change your own wiper blades you should probably find a different form of transportation.

[Onslaught]

The guy's belt buckle can put some really nice scraches on the paint.   IMHO, if you're a guy and you  can't change your own wiper blades you should probably find a different form of transportation.

That can piss me off fast. Even sitting up against a car can do that if they have on jeans and those little metal studs or whatever they are rub on the paint.

[Madman]

Looking towards the future, how many of today's cars will still exist to become tomorrow's classics?

Who will replace an ECU when it costs more than the car is worth?  Assuming you will even be able to find the correct ECU for your model.  Overly complex electronics will mean the survival rate for potential classics will be practically zero.

I've already seen plenty of perfectly good serviceable cars go to the crusher just because their owners couldn't get the damn Check Engine light (AKA the "Spend More Money" light) to stay off long enough to pass the state emissions test.  And it's not just emissions anymore.  On newer cars for example, a transmission fault will trigger a CEL.  Even though the transmission has fuck all to do with the car's emissions, it will still fail the state test because that damn light is on.  So, do you spend $4,000 on a rebuilt transmission or do you trade it and get a $4,000 allowance towards a new car?  Only an idiot would do the former.

[Soup DeVille]

Looking towards the future, how many of today's cars will still exist to become tomorrow's classics?

Who will replace an ECU when it costs more than the car is worth?  Assuming you will even be able to find the correct ECU for your model.  Overly complex electronics will mean the survival rate for potential classics will be practically zero.

I've already seen plenty of perfectly good serviceable cars go to the crusher just because their owners couldn't get the damn Check Engine light (AKA the "Spend More Money" light) to stay off long enough to pass the state emissions test.  And it's not just emissions anymore.  On newer cars for example, a transmission fault will trigger a CEL.  Even though the transmission has fuck all to do with the car's emissions, it will still fail the state test because that damn light is on.  So, do you spend $4,000 on a rebuilt transmission or do you trade it and get a $4,000 allowance towards a new car?  Only an idiot would do the former.

My thought on this is that its only a matter of time before an open-source "universal" OBDII ECM becomes widely available; one that will let the owners decide what turns the CEL light on and off, for starters.

[GoCougs]

Looking towards the future, how many of today's cars will still exist to become tomorrow's classics?

Who will replace an ECU when it costs more than the car is worth?  Assuming you will even be able to find the correct ECU for your model.  Overly complex electronics will mean the survival rate for potential classics will be practically zero.

I've already seen plenty of perfectly good serviceable cars go to the crusher just because their owners couldn't get the damn Check Engine light (AKA the "Spend More Money" light) to stay off long enough to pass the state emissions test.  And it's not just emissions anymore.  On newer cars for example, a transmission fault will trigger a CEL.  Even though the transmission has fuck all to do with the car's emissions, it will still fail the state test because that damn light is on.  So, do you spend $4,000 on a rebuilt transmission or do you trade it and get a $4,000 allowance towards a new car?  Only an idiot would do the former.

How many '80s EFI Mustang GTs are still running around? Plenty, and they have plenty of the same electronics (fuel injectors, all sorts of sensors, ECU, etc.). Ditto for the Fuelie Corvettes of the '60s. If people want them the market will keep them on the road. For example, Eldebrock and Holley have for years been selling 50-state compliant EFI systems.

Thing is pretty much none of today's cars will be classics (or no more classic than an '80s Porsche, Corvette (even ZR1), Mustang, Camaro, etc., is today - which is to say, sorta but not really). "Classics" came about in the '80s because the cars of the time were awful making the bygone era of the "classics" (esp. the '50s new-every-year cycle and the power/styling of the '60s/early '70s pony/muscle car era) extremely enticing.

Today the cars are better in every way yet there are no equivalents to '55 C-300s, or '57 Bel Airs, or '65 GT350s, or '69 Z/28s, or '70 Hemi 'Cudas. Also, today's car culture has changed. Another driver of the rise of classics in the '80s were guys reliving their high school years. Vastly fewer teens these days care about cars in such a manner. Those that do care, meh, they know that the WRX they lust after now will be replaced with a far better model by the time they can afford one.

[Soup DeVille]

Well, Cougs: you're assuming that future cars won't ever get worse again. Its entirely possible that that the high-powered sports car could be legislated out of existence, or even that manual driving becomes a nostalgic thing of the past.

And while cars from the '80s and most of the '90s used pretty straightforward engine controls, things are getting a lot more integrated now. I wouldn't look at the number of '80s Mustangs around: I'd look at the difficulties that the owners of early 4matic Mercedes have right now, or the nightmarish problems that Phaeton owners commonly have.

[GoCougs]

My thought on this is that its only a matter of time before an open-source "universal" OBDII ECM becomes widely available; one that will let the owners decide what turns the CEL light on and off, for starters.

Not a chance. Government locks down all that stuff, and given the current socio-political climate WtP want way more government and that's most certainly gonna hit cars too - GPS trackers for pay-as-you-drive taxation, standardized event data recorders, and of course more rigid compliance measures under the auspices of GWism.

[Soup DeVille]

Not a chance. Government locks down all that stuff, and given the current socio-political climate WtP want way more government and that's most certainly gonna hit cars too - GPS trackers for pay-as-you-drive taxation, standardized event data recorders, and of course more rigid compliance measures under the auspices of GWism.

There are already performance oriented ECMs out there that will do just that; they are only going to become cheaper, more common, and more easy to use. One thing the government has had a real tough time keeping any sort of hold on is emerging or new technologies.

Like these: http://www.aemelectronics.com/engine-management-systems-9/infinity-8-10-12-stand-alone-programmable-ems-90/

[GoCougs]

Well, Cougs: you're assuming that future cars won't ever get worse again. Its entirely possible that that the high-powered sports car could be legislated out of existence, or even that manual driving becomes a nostalgic thing of the past.

And while cars from the '80s and most of the '90s used pretty straightforward engine controls, things are getting a lot more integrated now. I wouldn't look at the number of '80s Mustangs around: I'd look at the difficulties that the owners of early 4matic Mercedes have right now, or the nightmarish problems that Phaeton owners commonly have.

Hmmm. Good point. We only have to look to Europe and Japan for our future. Anything truly fun or interesting (i.e., not a diesel Golf) is now for the wealthy, and anything not current emissions compliant is illegal or astronomically expensive to drive.

Problem is those aren't very "classic" cars. They weren't very good or interesting cars then and less so now; not enough inertia to keep them on the road. I'd look to more to the Mustang Cobra, Corvette Grand Sport, early WRX, as examples. Just as Edelbrock and Holley ginned up modern replacement systems (EFI, ignition, heads, etc., to keep up with the times) same thing will happen too, if enough people are interested.

[GoCougs]

There are already performance oriented ECMs out there that will do just that; they are only going to become cheaper, more common, and more easy to use. One thing the government has had a real tough time keeping any sort of hold on is emerging or new technologies.

Like these: http://www.aemelectronics.com/engine-management-systems-9/infinity-8-10-12-stand-alone-programmable-ems-90/

Sure, they've been around a long time, my point is they're theoretically illegal (first sentence on that page:  THIS PRODUCT MAY BE USED SOLELY ON VEHICLES USED IN SANCTIONED COMPETITION WHICH MAY NEVER BE USED UPON A PUBLIC ROAD OR HIGHWAY...) and government will continue to escalate the notion (by further locking down what is a legal mod for street-driven ride).

[Soup DeVille]

Sure, they've been around a long time, my point is they're theoretically illegal (first sentence on that page:  THIS PRODUCT MAY BE USED SOLELY ON VEHICLES USED IN SANCTIONED COMPETITION WHICH MAY NEVER BE USED UPON A PUBLIC ROAD OR HIGHWAY...) and government will continue to escalate the notion (by further locking down what is a legal mod for street-driven ride).

Yeah, and nobody out there now has non DOT approved parts on their car now, do they?

[Soup DeVille]

Hmmm. Good point. We only have to look to Europe and Japan for our future. Anything truly fun or interesting (i.e., not a diesel Golf) is now for the wealthy, and anything not current emissions compliant is illegal or astronomically expensive to drive.

Problem is those aren't very "classic" cars. They weren't very good or interesting cars then and less so now; not enough inertia to keep them on the road. I'd look to more to the Mustang Cobra, Corvette Grand Sport, early WRX, as examples. Just as Edelbrock and Holley ginned up modern replacement systems (EFI, ignition, heads, etc., to keep up with the times) same thing will happen too, if enough people are interested.

Not everybody's notion of what a classic is is that narrow, and will surely continue to evolve.