Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!

[Madman]

Forget the ice bucket.  Try a crap bucket!

Okay, it's not literally a bucket full of crap.  That would be disgusting.  But I am throwing down the gauntlet to see if anyone can buy a better beater for the money.

But first, a little background.  A co-worker of mine has more cars than the local Carmax outlet.  Lo and behold, a 93-year-old relative of his passes away and leaves my co-worker his car, a mid-1990s Lexus ES300.  Problem is he already has too many cars cluttering up his driveway and needs to get shot of at least one of them.  The one he wants to unload is his current daily driver, a 1998 Ford Escort SE sedan, automatic with 137,000 miles.

Out of idle curiosity, I ask him how much he wants for it.  He pulls out his phone to check the book value and it says it's worth $865.  Half-jokingly, I said "I'll give you $800 cash for it."  Well, the next thing I knew, I was the owner of a 1998 Ford Escort SE sedan!

What the hell have I done?!?!?!?!?   

So, without further adieu, here it is in all of its grey-ish glory!



.

.

.

.

.



Golf-ball-sized divot on hood.




Cosmetic damage from when my co-worker's mother-in-law skidded on some ice last winter and clipped a mailbox.





.

.

.

.



Plug for a block heater I found under the front bumper, indicating this was once a Northern car.


.

.

.

.

.



The oily bits.  Eight valve SOHC 2.0 Ford CVH engine.  110 raging horsepowers!!!!



.



So, what's it like?  Well, it's terrible!  Hey, what do you expect?  Everything about this car looks and feels like it was subcontracted out to the lowest bidder.  But that's okay with me.  This is only going to be for commuting and keeping the miles (and the wear and tear) off my Passat.  It is strictly a cheap, disposable, throw-away car.  The minute something expensive goes POP, off to the scrappie it goes.

So, it seems if you're prepared to REALLY lower your standards, you can still pick up a serviceable beater for the price of a decent laptop.

[ifcar]

Looks pretty nice for its age, scrape aside -- I hope it treats you well!

[Gotta-Qik-C7]

Looks good for 800 bucks......

[FoMoJo]

It blends in so well with asphalt.

Not bad for a 21-22 year old car.

[Cookie Monster]

It blends in so well with asphalt.

Not bad for a 21-22 year old car.

It's only 16 years old though.

[FoMoJo]

It's only 16 years old though.

Ah yes. For some reason, I took the 93 year old relative as the year of the car.  I have no excuse.

[Madman]

Thanks, guys.

The is something strangely liberating about driving a car you don't give two shits about.  I no longer live in terror of supermarket parking door dings.  Dump trucks spewing debris in their wake?  Who cares!  Go ahead world, bring it on!!!

[CALL_911]

Congrats, I guess

"This is only going to be for commuting and keeping the miles (and the wear and tear) off my Passat."

I don't understand this logic; it's a Passat wagon, not a Ferrari! It was designed for commuting etc. It's not even like the thing is brand new, why would you care about keeping the wear and tear/miles off the Passat?

[2o6]

Those Escorts are servicable little cars. Focus MK1 was a godsend, though.

[veeman]

Love it.  Seriously. 

It seems, not sure though, but it seems the tires are balding.  Bad tires give me the heebie jeebies.  Makes me very anxious.  Replacing them would cost half the value of the car though.

[ifcar]

Congrats, I guess

"This is only going to be for commuting and keeping the miles (and the wear and tear) off my Passat."

I don't understand this logic; it's a Passat wagon, not a Ferrari! It was designed for commuting etc. It's not even like the thing is brand new, why would you care about keeping the wear and tear/miles off the Passat?

With an older car, you're very well aware that each mile driven brings it closer to DEATH.

[cawimmer430]

Would you have bought the car if it were a 1974 Dodge Monaco!?   

Congrats on the "new" ride!

[68_427]

Neutral slam or it didn't happen.

[Cookie Monster]

Neutral slam or it didn't happen.

[Cookie Monster]

Congrats, I guess

"This is only going to be for commuting and keeping the miles (and the wear and tear) off my Passat."

I don't understand this logic; it's a Passat wagon, not a Ferrari! It was designed for commuting etc. It's not even like the thing is brand new, why would you care about keeping the wear and tear/miles off the Passat?

+1. The 11 year old Passat should be the one getting miles piled on it to keep the miles off of something that is actually cool.

[Soup DeVille]

With an older car, you're very well aware that each mile driven brings it closer to DEATH.

That's true with all cars.

Don't know why the age makes any difference.

[ifcar]

That's true with all cars.

Don't know why the age makes any difference.

It's like how a 75-year-old is generally more aware of and concerned by his mortality than someone at 25. Sure, it's the same number of days before the end, all things considered, but each remaining day is more obviously closer to it.

And on another more automotive note, it makes a difference if you intend to sell your car at some point regardless -- as most people do, especially those buying new -- rather than drive it into the ground.

[280Z Turbo]

That's true with all cars.

Don't know why the age makes any difference.

Cars don't die unless they're completely rusted out, crushed, or melted.

People just give up on them.

[CALL_911]

Huge  to anyone who's rationalizing this purchase as "keeping miles off" another vehicle that could very well be a beater.

[Rupert]

Heh, a beater to preserve a beater. I like it.

Not the Escort, though. That is a shameful car. Enjoy the hollow plastic dash.

[Soup DeVille]

It's like how a 75-year-old is generally more aware of and concerned by his mortality than someone at 25. Sure, it's the same number of days before the end, all things considered, but each remaining day is more obviously closer to it.

And on another more automotive note, it makes a difference if you intend to sell your car at some point regardless -- as most people do, especially those buying new -- rather than drive it into the ground.

Hell, the dude buying new takes a bath every single day because of depreciation, whether he drives it or not.

You buy a beater to beat on it, or because you just happen to like it, or to keep the miles off of your newly restored vintage Porsche during the winter. Or, maybe: as I suspect is the case here: because the thought of getting a cheap that works is a novelty unto itself.

[Secret Chimp]

LOL these little pieces of shit. My crazy first gf in Ohio had one of these. Her parents put these shitty tires on it that would chirp betwen 1st and 2nd. I remember the heater got HOT. Like burn your hands hot. I totalled it when I pulled out in front of some lady doing 45 in a 30.

[Rich]

I like how the two rich kids are putting the guy down for wanting to keep miles off of his Passat.

[Raza]

My god, this is a bickering bunch.  It's worse than a Real Housewives book club here.

Congrats, Madman.  You do you, man.  If you love your Passat and want to preserve it, go for it. 

[Cookie Monster]

I like how the two rich kids are putting the guy down for wanting to keep miles off of his Passat.

If you are referring to me as one of the rich kids, I'm probably poorer than everyone else here thanks to how much I owe the government.

I probably have one of the oldest DD's here as well.

[CALL_911]

I like how the two rich kids are putting the guy down for wanting to keep miles off of his Passat.

Yeah, because it totally makes sense to preserve a 2003 Passat Wagon. Should I also buy a used auxiliary garbage can to protect my existing one?

Look, if the dude wanted an Escort, great. But if he's saying it's an intelligent, rational purchase, it certainly isn't

[Secret Chimp]

stop being cunts for teeny bitchy reasons jeez

[Eye of the Tiger]

Try to keep your valve seats in place, and take it rallycrossing.

[ifcar]

Yeah, because it totally makes sense to preserve a 2003 Passat Wagon. Should I also buy a used auxiliary garbage can to protect my existing one?

Look, if the dude wanted an Escort, great. But if he's saying it's an intelligent, rational purchase, it certainly isn't

Who are you to judge what car someone else considers valuable to them and worth preserving? And it's not like we're talking about two $50,000 pickup trucks here.

[Tave]

Not a bad deal at all Madman. The best part is no matter what you do to that little sucker, you won't feel any remorse.