Can u hear the grill sizzling? TTAC EVISCERATES car journo hacks

[12,000 RPM]

Fuuuuuaaaaaaaarrrrkkkkk...............................

http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/2015/06/barks-bites-public-accept-car-reviews-people-cant-drive/

Dig, if you will, the picture of a Driver with a capital D. Got it in your mind? Okay, now picture exactly the opposite, because that's what most car reviewers are like. The vast majority of them have never driven a single, solitary timed lap on a racetrack. Their performance driving experience is limited to three laps at a time in lead/follow sessions with factory drivers leading the way at roughly fifty percent of the car's maximum capability.



Why, you may ask, does this matter? Well, let me give you some examples of automotive journalism from a recent launch where, thanks to our friends at Jalopnik, everyone in the world knows that the track experience was limited to three laps with a pace car:

"The Camaro rides on a platform that is significantly lighter than the one used before. You immediately feel this in every aspect of the new car's dynamics, whether you're punching the gas on a straightaway, or braking as hard as you can for a 90-degree corner." No, you can't. Well, maybe somebody else could, but you couldn't. You did three laps in the car. You drove at sixty percent. You have no clue what "braking as hard as you can" means. I would bet enough money to cover all of my blackjack losses for the year that you never, ever engaged ABS.

"Camaro has answered with a steed ... built on a small luxury sedan chassis. The same Alpha platform used by the sensational, best-in-class Cadillac ATS carving knife. By Turn 2 at Belle Isle, I knew the Gen-6 Camaro was a different animal." Really? By Turn 2, on a lead/follow session, your finely tuned senses were able to determine the Camaro's handling capabilities? That's impressive. Also, best-in-class Cadillac ATS? Somebody page DeadWeight to this thread.

"Ride and handling are outstanding, with the suspension able to soak up track imperfections with ease, while not disturbing either the steering or stability. The brakes feel much stronger as well. The 2015 model's brakes felt squishy and overworked after several laps with journalists at the wheel, but the 2016 model exhibited no fade or softness in the pedal." If I showed you a picture of this particular journalist, you'd feel much more comfortable accepting his review of, say, an all-you-can-eat shrimp buffet than you would his review of the 2016 Camaro. What exactly does "outstanding ride and handling" even mean?

Car reviews are full of this kind of nonsense. They talk about "understeering at the limit" or "cornering like it's on rails." But what the vast majority of reviewers really mean is that they've reached their personal limits, not the limits of the car. And there's quite a difference between the two.

[Rich]

I'd like to know what mags those quotes are from... I guess I can try and google it later.

I think C&D / R&T editors have their driving shit together.  And Chris Harris. 

[mzziaz]

?

[SJ_GTI]

That has been my impression of car reviewers for years now.

They complain about the most inane things in a car, and then use ridiculous flowery words to describe things they like.

No car is as good as some the their positive reviews, and most of their criticisms are over the top. But that is what sells, because the people who buys these magazines want black or white "who is better" comparisons, and they will tolerate just a bit of gray shading here or there to give themselves plausible deniability. 

In order words: iDrive was never THAT bad. And the steering feel of the BMW 3-series was never THAT good.

[280Z Turbo]

Everyone likes to do their best Clarkson impression.

[Speed_Racer]

That has been my impression of car reviewers for years now.

They complain about the most inane things in a car, and then use ridiculous flowery words to describe things they like.

No car is as good as some the their positive reviews, and most of their criticisms are over the top. But that is what sells, because the people who buys these magazines want black or white "who is better" comparisons, and they will tolerate just a bit of gray shading here or there to give themselves plausible deniability. 

In order words: iDrive was never THAT bad. And the steering feel of the BMW 3-series was never THAT good.

Not to mention they have to keep the advertisers happy, or at least not piss them off.

[MexicoCityM3]

I understand this guy's rant, but I think he is wrong. 99.99% of people don't give a rat's ass about on the limit, track performance. And those people ain't wrong because it is not relevant! Why would the people reviewing cars be track capable drivers?

I like the track and for me it's important but I almost never recommend a car to someone based on the track performance. Other things are much more relevant. And it's true, there are very few bad cars these days.

[12,000 RPM]

Everyone likes to do their best Clarkson impression.

His exit is prob the best thing to happen to auto journalism.

[MX793]

I understand this guy's rant, but I think he is wrong. 99.99% of people don't give a rat's ass about on the limit, track performance. And those people ain't wrong because it is not relevant! Why would the people reviewing cars be track capable drivers?

I like the track and for me it's important but I almost never recommend a car to someone based on the track performance. Other things are much more relevant. And it's true, there are very few bad cars these days.

I think the bigger complaint is reviewers who aren't track capable drivers waxing poetic, or speaking ill, of a vehicle based on their unqualified opinion of the vehicle's track prowess.  It's one thing to jump in the car, drive it around real streets, and comment on how if felt (ride was harsh on bumps, transmission was smooth, engine note was pleasant, wind noise was excessive, cup holders are poorly placed...).  It's another to go on about performance at the limit when the only limit you took the car to was the posted speed limit.

[SVT666]

His exit is prob the best thing to happen to auto journalism.

What exit?  Clarkson hasn't left. 

[12,000 RPM]

What exit?  Clarkson hasn't left. 

Well hes off his big platform.

[MexicoCityM3]

I think the bigger complaint is reviewers who aren't track capable drivers waxing poetic, or speaking ill, of a vehicle based on their unqualified opinion of the vehicle's track prowess.  It's one thing to jump in the car, drive it around real streets, and comment on how if felt (ride was harsh on bumps, transmission was smooth, engine note was pleasant, wind noise was excessive, cup holders are poorly placed...).  It's another to go on about performance at the limit when the only limit you took the car to was the posted speed limit.

I agree. It brings to mind a Ferrari - driving friend who likes to discuss how his car handles "at the limit" and is "extremely nervous" when his times are 10-20 secs per lap behind me.

[Laconian]

I'd be pretty nervous if I was jeopardizing the well-being of a car that costs as much as a house.

[Cookie Monster]

I'd be pretty nervous if I was jeopardizing the well-being of a car that costs as much as a house.

If you're not prepared to lose your car on track you shouldn't be on track.

[ifcar]

I think the bigger complaint is reviewers who aren't track capable drivers waxing poetic, or speaking ill, of a vehicle based on their unqualified opinion of the vehicle's track prowess.  It's one thing to jump in the car, drive it around real streets, and comment on how if felt (ride was harsh on bumps, transmission was smooth, engine note was pleasant, wind noise was excessive, cup holders are poorly placed...).  It's another to go on about performance at the limit when the only limit you took the car to was the posted speed limit.

Right. Both types of review have their place -- and each just needs to be clear about what it is and isn't. A track review is what's needed to speak to a performance car's true capability, but at the same time a track review alone isn't enough basis for a recommendation of a car as a whole that isn't intended for primarily track use.

The equivalent would be saying an F-150 is great off-road after driving it through a muddy unpaved parking lot, while at the same time it's not helpful to say that someone should buy an F-150 simply because it did well on the intensive off-road course they took it on.

[12,000 RPM]

If you're not prepared to lose your car on track you shouldn't be on track.

Fuark track day seppuku kamikaze warrior

Win it or bin it

[Cookie Monster]

Fuark track day seppuku kamikaze warrior

Win it or bin it

Lol I don't go out and purposefully drive like a dickhead, but I accept that I could wreck the car and push my limits as much as I can. I've spun out a lot on track because I push the car and myself so hard.

I just don't see the point in spending so much for a track day and then driving like a little bitch, except to say "yeah I do track days, bro". You end up not enjoying the day and just get in other peoples' way as well. I probably will never track the motorcycle because of my all out attitude on track. A spin out really isn't an option on a bike.

[12,000 RPM]

I just don't see the point in spending so much for a track day and then driving like a little bitch

I was just giving you shit bro lol.

I feel u 100%. Thats part of why I never tracked the Z. Risk was too high. Mite track the Civic. Risk not so much, knock on wood.

[MexicoCityM3]

I'd be pretty nervous if I was jeopardizing the well-being of a car that costs as much as a house.

It's all relative. This guy is loaded. Losing the Ferrari would hurt the same as to us would be to lose our DDs.

If you track it and baby it, well, that is just dumb. In any case, this guy doesn't even realize he is babying it!

[MexicoCityM3]

Lol I don't go out and purposefully drive like a dickhead, but I accept that I could wreck the car and push my limits as much as I can. I've spun out a lot on track because I push the car and myself so hard.

I just don't see the point in spending so much for a track day and then driving like a little bitch, except to say "yeah I do track days, bro". You end up not enjoying the day and just get in other peoples' way as well. I probably will never track the motorcycle because of my all out attitude on track. A spin out really isn't an option on a bike.

+100%

On track I try to drive to my limit for a few laps at least. Maybe 90-95% most of the day.

[Rupert]

I think the bigger complaint is reviewers who aren't track capable drivers waxing poetic, or speaking ill, of a vehicle based on their unqualified opinion of the vehicle's track prowess.  It's one thing to jump in the car, drive it around real streets, and comment on how if felt (ride was harsh on bumps, transmission was smooth, engine note was pleasant, wind noise was excessive, cup holders are poorly placed...).  It's another to go on about performance at the limit when the only limit you took the car to was the posted speed limit.

Agreed.

I don't pay attention to car reviews because they aren't cars I want to buy and they don't talk about the things I care about (neither track nor cup holders). I need to drive a car to know if I like it.

[SVT666]

Agreed.

I don't pay attention to car reviews because they aren't cars I want to buy and they don't talk about the things I care about (neither track nor cup holders). I need to drive a car to know if I like it.

Bullshit.  Who doesn't care about cupholders?

[Rupert]

944 has no cupholders.

[SVT666]

944 has no cupholders.

What a piece of shit.

[SJ_GTI]

What a piece of shit.

[12,000 RPM]

Bullshit.  Who doesn't care about cupholders?

I dont think any car in existence could hold my water bottle



I am with die Germans on cupholders. The thought of a fat American angry her BIG GULP™ won't fit in the cupholder of her Jeep Liberty disgusts me.

[Soup DeVille]

944 has no cupholders.

How many ashtrays?

[Raza]

I dont think any car in existence could hold my water bottle



I am with die Germans on cupholders. The thought of a fat American angry her BIG GULP™ won't fit in the cupholder of her Jeep Liberty disgusts me.

It's funny though, for things that are normal sized (up to a 20oz bottle), my Z4's cupholders are great, especially in comparison to my Boxster's. Jetta and Passat had the best though, especially with the Red Bull can holder in the middle of them.

[Rupert]

How many ashtrays?

One. 

I would be fine replacing it with a cupholder, except that it would get in the way of the shifter.

[Laconian]

Were people really dehydrated before Chrysler started the cupholder arms race in 1984?