Madman's Crap Bucket Challenge!

Started by Madman, September 17, 2014, 10:02:57 PM

Madman

Forget the ice bucket.  Try a crap bucket!

Okay, it's not literally a bucket full of crap.  That would be disgusting.  But I am throwing down the gauntlet to see if anyone can buy a better beater for the money.

But first, a little background.  A co-worker of mine has more cars than the local Carmax outlet.  Lo and behold, a 93-year-old relative of his passes away and leaves my co-worker his car, a mid-1990s Lexus ES300.  Problem is he already has too many cars cluttering up his driveway and needs to get shot of at least one of them.  The one he wants to unload is his current daily driver, a 1998 Ford Escort SE sedan, automatic with 137,000 miles.

Out of idle curiosity, I ask him how much he wants for it.  He pulls out his phone to check the book value and it says it's worth $865.  Half-jokingly, I said "I'll give you $800 cash for it."  Well, the next thing I knew, I was the owner of a 1998 Ford Escort SE sedan!

What the hell have I done?!?!?!?!?   :mask:

So, without further adieu, here it is in all of its grey-ish glory!



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Golf-ball-sized divot on hood.




Cosmetic damage from when my co-worker's mother-in-law skidded on some ice last winter and clipped a mailbox.





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Plug for a block heater I found under the front bumper, indicating this was once a Northern car.


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The oily bits.  Eight valve SOHC 2.0 Ford CVH engine.  110 raging horsepowers!!!!



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So, what's it like?  Well, it's terrible!  Hey, what do you expect?  Everything about this car looks and feels like it was subcontracted out to the lowest bidder.  But that's okay with me.  This is only going to be for commuting and keeping the miles (and the wear and tear) off my Passat.  It is strictly a cheap, disposable, throw-away car.  The minute something expensive goes POP, off to the scrappie it goes.

So, it seems if you're prepared to REALLY lower your standards, you can still pick up a serviceable beater for the price of a decent laptop.
Current cars: 2015 Ford Escape SE, 2011 MINI Cooper

Formerly owned cars: 2010 Mazda 5 Sport, 2008 Audi A4 2.0T S-Line Sedan, 2003 Volkswagen Passat GL 1.8T wagon, 1998 Ford Escort SE sedan, 2001 Cadillac Catera, 2000 Volkswagen Golf GLS 2.0 5-Door, 1997 Honda Odyssey LX, 1991 Volvo 240 sedan, 1990 Volvo 740 Turbo sedan, 1987 Volvo 240 DL sedan, 1990 Peugeot 405 DL Sportswagon, 1985 Peugeot 505 Turbo sedan, 1985 Merkur XR4Ti, 1983 Renault R9 Alliance DL sedan, 1979 Chevrolet Caprice Classic wagon, 1975 Volkswagen Transporter, 1980 Fiat X-1/9 Bertone, 1979 Volkswagen Rabbit C 3-Door hatch, 1976 Ford Pinto V6 coupe, 1952 Chevrolet Styleline Deluxe sedan

"The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom." ~ Isaac Asimov

"I much prefer the sharpest criticism of a single intelligent man to the thoughtless approval of the masses." - Johannes Kepler

"One of the most cowardly things ordinary people do is to shut their eyes to facts." - C.S. Lewis

ifcar

Looks pretty nice for its age, scrape aside -- I hope it treats you well!

Gotta-Qik-C7

2014 C7 Vert, 2002 Silverado, 2005 Road Glide

FoMoJo

It blends in so well with asphalt.

Not bad for a 21-22 year old car.
"Blind belief in authority is the greatest enemy of truth" ~ Albert Einstein
"As the saying goes, when you mix science and politics, you get politics."

Cookie Monster

Quote from: FoMoJo on September 18, 2014, 05:32:29 AM
It blends in so well with asphalt.

Not bad for a 21-22 year old car.

It's only 16 years old though. :mask:
RWD > FWD
President of the "I survived the Volvo S80 Thread" Club
2007 Mazda MX-5 | 1999 Honda Nighthawk 750 | 1989 Volvo 240 | 1991 Toyota 4Runner | 2006 Honda CBR600F4i | 2015 Yamaha FJ-09 | 1999 Honda CBR600F4 | 2009 Yamaha WR250X | 1985 Mazda RX-7 | 2000 Yamaha YZ426F | 2006 Yamaha FZ1 | 2002 Honda CBR954RR | 1996 Subaru Outback | 2018 Subaru Crosstrek | 1986 Toyota MR2
Quote from: 68_427 on November 27, 2016, 07:43:14 AM
Or order from fortune auto and when lyft rider asks why your car feels bumpy you can show them the dyno curve
1 3 5
├┼┤
2 4 R

FoMoJo

Quote from: thecarnut on September 18, 2014, 07:00:39 AM
It's only 16 years old though. :mask:
Ah yes. For some reason, I took the 93 year old relative as the year of the car.  I have no excuse. :(
"Blind belief in authority is the greatest enemy of truth" ~ Albert Einstein
"As the saying goes, when you mix science and politics, you get politics."

Madman


Thanks, guys.

The is something strangely liberating about driving a car you don't give two shits about.  I no longer live in terror of supermarket parking door dings.  Dump trucks spewing debris in their wake?  Who cares!  Go ahead world, bring it on!!!
Current cars: 2015 Ford Escape SE, 2011 MINI Cooper

Formerly owned cars: 2010 Mazda 5 Sport, 2008 Audi A4 2.0T S-Line Sedan, 2003 Volkswagen Passat GL 1.8T wagon, 1998 Ford Escort SE sedan, 2001 Cadillac Catera, 2000 Volkswagen Golf GLS 2.0 5-Door, 1997 Honda Odyssey LX, 1991 Volvo 240 sedan, 1990 Volvo 740 Turbo sedan, 1987 Volvo 240 DL sedan, 1990 Peugeot 405 DL Sportswagon, 1985 Peugeot 505 Turbo sedan, 1985 Merkur XR4Ti, 1983 Renault R9 Alliance DL sedan, 1979 Chevrolet Caprice Classic wagon, 1975 Volkswagen Transporter, 1980 Fiat X-1/9 Bertone, 1979 Volkswagen Rabbit C 3-Door hatch, 1976 Ford Pinto V6 coupe, 1952 Chevrolet Styleline Deluxe sedan

"The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom." ~ Isaac Asimov

"I much prefer the sharpest criticism of a single intelligent man to the thoughtless approval of the masses." - Johannes Kepler

"One of the most cowardly things ordinary people do is to shut their eyes to facts." - C.S. Lewis

CALL_911

Congrats, I guess

"This is only going to be for commuting and keeping the miles (and the wear and tear) off my Passat."

I don't understand this logic; it's a Passat wagon, not a Ferrari! It was designed for commuting etc. It's not even like the thing is brand new, why would you care about keeping the wear and tear/miles off the Passat?


2004 S2000
2016 340xi

2o6

Those Escorts are servicable little cars. Focus MK1 was a godsend, though.

veeman

Love it.  Seriously. 

It seems, not sure though, but it seems the tires are balding.  Bad tires give me the heebie jeebies.  Makes me very anxious.  Replacing them would cost half the value of the car though.

ifcar

Quote from: CALL_911 on September 18, 2014, 07:35:31 AM
Congrats, I guess

"This is only going to be for commuting and keeping the miles (and the wear and tear) off my Passat."

I don't understand this logic; it's a Passat wagon, not a Ferrari! It was designed for commuting etc. It's not even like the thing is brand new, why would you care about keeping the wear and tear/miles off the Passat?

With an older car, you're very well aware that each mile driven brings it closer to DEATH.

cawimmer430

Would you have bought the car if it were a 1974 Dodge Monaco!?  :praise:  :lol:

Congrats on the "new" ride! :mrcool:
-2018 Mercedes-Benz A250 AMG Line (W177)



WIMMER FOTOGRAFIE - Professional Automotive Photography based in Munich, Germany
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68_427

Quotewhere were you when automotive dream died
i was sat at home drinking brake fluid when wife ring
'racecar is die'
no


Cookie Monster

RWD > FWD
President of the "I survived the Volvo S80 Thread" Club
2007 Mazda MX-5 | 1999 Honda Nighthawk 750 | 1989 Volvo 240 | 1991 Toyota 4Runner | 2006 Honda CBR600F4i | 2015 Yamaha FJ-09 | 1999 Honda CBR600F4 | 2009 Yamaha WR250X | 1985 Mazda RX-7 | 2000 Yamaha YZ426F | 2006 Yamaha FZ1 | 2002 Honda CBR954RR | 1996 Subaru Outback | 2018 Subaru Crosstrek | 1986 Toyota MR2
Quote from: 68_427 on November 27, 2016, 07:43:14 AM
Or order from fortune auto and when lyft rider asks why your car feels bumpy you can show them the dyno curve
1 3 5
├┼┤
2 4 R

Cookie Monster

Quote from: CALL_911 on September 18, 2014, 07:35:31 AM
Congrats, I guess

"This is only going to be for commuting and keeping the miles (and the wear and tear) off my Passat."

I don't understand this logic; it's a Passat wagon, not a Ferrari! It was designed for commuting etc. It's not even like the thing is brand new, why would you care about keeping the wear and tear/miles off the Passat?

+1. The 11 year old Passat should be the one getting miles piled on it to keep the miles off of something that is actually cool.
RWD > FWD
President of the "I survived the Volvo S80 Thread" Club
2007 Mazda MX-5 | 1999 Honda Nighthawk 750 | 1989 Volvo 240 | 1991 Toyota 4Runner | 2006 Honda CBR600F4i | 2015 Yamaha FJ-09 | 1999 Honda CBR600F4 | 2009 Yamaha WR250X | 1985 Mazda RX-7 | 2000 Yamaha YZ426F | 2006 Yamaha FZ1 | 2002 Honda CBR954RR | 1996 Subaru Outback | 2018 Subaru Crosstrek | 1986 Toyota MR2
Quote from: 68_427 on November 27, 2016, 07:43:14 AM
Or order from fortune auto and when lyft rider asks why your car feels bumpy you can show them the dyno curve
1 3 5
├┼┤
2 4 R

Soup DeVille

Quote from: ifcar on September 18, 2014, 10:11:33 AM
With an older car, you're very well aware that each mile driven brings it closer to DEATH.

That's true with all cars.

Don't know why the age makes any difference.
Maybe we need to start off small. I mean, they don't let you fuck the glumpers at Glumpees without a level 4 FuckPass, do they?

1975 Honda CB750, 1986 Rebel Rascal (sailing dinghy), 2015 Mini Cooper, 2020 Winnebago 31H (E450), 2021 Toyota 4Runner, 2022 Lincoln Aviator

ifcar

Quote from: Soup DeVille on September 18, 2014, 04:21:45 PM
That's true with all cars.

Don't know why the age makes any difference.

It's like how a 75-year-old is generally more aware of and concerned by his mortality than someone at 25. Sure, it's the same number of days before the end, all things considered, but each remaining day is more obviously closer to it.

And on another more automotive note, it makes a difference if you intend to sell your car at some point regardless -- as most people do, especially those buying new -- rather than drive it into the ground.

280Z Turbo

Quote from: Soup DeVille on September 18, 2014, 04:21:45 PM
That's true with all cars.

Don't know why the age makes any difference.

Cars don't die unless they're completely rusted out, crushed, or melted.

People just give up on them.

CALL_911

Huge  :rolleyes: to anyone who's rationalizing this purchase as "keeping miles off" another vehicle that could very well be a beater.


2004 S2000
2016 340xi

Rupert

Heh, a beater to preserve a beater. I like it. :lol:

Not the Escort, though. That is a shameful car. Enjoy the hollow plastic dash.
Novarolla-Miata-Trooper-Jeep-Volvo-Trooper-Ranger-MGB-Explorer-944-Fiat-Alfa-XTerra

13 cars, 60 cylinders, 52 manual forward gears and 9 automatic, 2 FWD, 42 doors, 1988 average year of manufacture, 3 convertibles, 22 average mpg, and no wheel covers.
PRO TENACIA NULLA VIA EST INVIA

Soup DeVille

Quote from: ifcar on September 18, 2014, 04:41:35 PM
It's like how a 75-year-old is generally more aware of and concerned by his mortality than someone at 25. Sure, it's the same number of days before the end, all things considered, but each remaining day is more obviously closer to it.

And on another more automotive note, it makes a difference if you intend to sell your car at some point regardless -- as most people do, especially those buying new -- rather than drive it into the ground.

Hell, the dude buying new takes a bath every single day because of depreciation, whether he drives it or not.

You buy a beater to beat on it, or because you just happen to like it, or to keep the miles off of your newly restored vintage Porsche during the winter. Or, maybe: as I suspect is the case here: because the thought of getting a cheap that works is a novelty unto itself.

Maybe we need to start off small. I mean, they don't let you fuck the glumpers at Glumpees without a level 4 FuckPass, do they?

1975 Honda CB750, 1986 Rebel Rascal (sailing dinghy), 2015 Mini Cooper, 2020 Winnebago 31H (E450), 2021 Toyota 4Runner, 2022 Lincoln Aviator

Secret Chimp

LOL these little pieces of shit. My crazy first gf in Ohio had one of these. Her parents put these shitty tires on it that would chirp betwen 1st and 2nd. I remember the heater got HOT. Like burn your hands hot. I totalled it when I pulled out in front of some lady doing 45 in a 30.


Quote from: BENZ BOY15 on January 02, 2014, 02:40:13 PM
That's a great local brewery that we have. Do I drink their beer? No.

Rich

#22
I like how the two rich kids are putting the guy down for wanting to keep miles off of his Passat.
2003 Mazda Miata 5MT; 2024 Tesla Model 3

Raza

My god, this is a bickering bunch.  It's worse than a Real Housewives book club here.

Congrats, Madman.  You do you, man.  If you love your Passat and want to preserve it, go for it. 
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
If you can read this, you're too close


2006 BMW Z4 3.0i
http://accelerationtherapy.squarespace.com/   @accelerationdoc
Quote from: the Teuton on October 05, 2009, 03:53:18 PMIt's impossible to argue with Raza. He wins. Period. End of discussion.

Cookie Monster

Quote from: HotRodPilot on September 20, 2014, 09:34:14 PM
I like how the two rich kids are putting the guy down for wanting to keep miles off of his Passat.


If you are referring to me as one of the rich kids, I'm probably poorer than everyone else here thanks to how much I owe the government. :huh:

I probably have one of the oldest DD's here as well. :huh:
RWD > FWD
President of the "I survived the Volvo S80 Thread" Club
2007 Mazda MX-5 | 1999 Honda Nighthawk 750 | 1989 Volvo 240 | 1991 Toyota 4Runner | 2006 Honda CBR600F4i | 2015 Yamaha FJ-09 | 1999 Honda CBR600F4 | 2009 Yamaha WR250X | 1985 Mazda RX-7 | 2000 Yamaha YZ426F | 2006 Yamaha FZ1 | 2002 Honda CBR954RR | 1996 Subaru Outback | 2018 Subaru Crosstrek | 1986 Toyota MR2
Quote from: 68_427 on November 27, 2016, 07:43:14 AM
Or order from fortune auto and when lyft rider asks why your car feels bumpy you can show them the dyno curve
1 3 5
├┼┤
2 4 R

CALL_911

Quote from: HotRodPilot on September 20, 2014, 09:34:14 PM
I like how the two rich kids are putting the guy down for wanting to keep miles off of his Passat.

Yeah, because it totally makes sense to preserve a 2003 Passat Wagon. Should I also buy a used auxiliary garbage can to protect my existing one?

Look, if the dude wanted an Escort, great. But if he's saying it's an intelligent, rational purchase, it certainly isn't


2004 S2000
2016 340xi

Secret Chimp

stop being cunts for teeny bitchy reasons jeez


Quote from: BENZ BOY15 on January 02, 2014, 02:40:13 PM
That's a great local brewery that we have. Do I drink their beer? No.

Eye of the Tiger

Try to keep your valve seats in place, and take it rallycrossing.
2024 Mitsubishi Mirage ES

ifcar

Quote from: CALL_911 on September 21, 2014, 12:02:50 AM
Yeah, because it totally makes sense to preserve a 2003 Passat Wagon. Should I also buy a used auxiliary garbage can to protect my existing one?

Look, if the dude wanted an Escort, great. But if he's saying it's an intelligent, rational purchase, it certainly isn't

Who are you to judge what car someone else considers valuable to them and worth preserving? And it's not like we're talking about two $50,000 pickup trucks here.

Tave

Not a bad deal at all Madman. The best part is no matter what you do to that little sucker, you won't feel any remorse.
As I write, highly civilized human beings are flying overhead, trying to kill me.

Quote from: thecarnut on March 16, 2008, 10:33:43 AM
Depending on price, that could be a good deal.