Why I'm not a professional mechanic

[AutobahnSHO]

The Grand has been dripping oil on my garage for a while now, and since I needed to change the oil, I bought an oilpan gasket.

I use the Army Self-help garages, it's $5/hour for a lift and free tool usage.  But I waited almost an HOUR for a lift, since they were pretty busy. Usually I get there when they open up but it didn't happen today...

So I drain the oil and look at the pan- two of the bolts are blocked by some shield touching the tranny (to shield the flywheel) so I have to remove it.  But there's a huge bolt that has to come out, some stupid mount that seems like redundancy- it just bolts the tranny to the engine AGAIN, and there's a brace hooked to that mount up higher on the engine.  I get the shield off but those braces were hanging in my way, I didn't want interference with the pan, so I try to take them off but some hoser put an AXLE in the middle, so I'm stretching through that mess getting oily crap all over my head.

Get it all off and the pan comes off easy, scrape the gasket maker ( ) off and put the gasket on, bolt it back on without breaking any bolts or studs.    (First time.  I sorta snapped a stud last time, on the '92..)
I put it all back together, seems I'm forgetting something, but no extra pieces are on the bench.  I change the filter, lower the van, fill it up, pay, clean the bay up and drive home. 

Total: 2hrs, $12 in bay fees, $35 for gasket, gallon of oil, and filter.

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Then I'm talking with the wife about what a pain in the butt it was and realize I hadn't tightened the oil drain bolt.  I had spun it back in but was going to tighten it later...
There's a small puddle in the garage, so I use the stupid emergency jack and a jackstand and crawl under.  I finger-twist it about a half a turn tighter  and then wrench it done.

Whew.  Good thing no disasters...

[S204STi]

Welcome to a day in my life!

[AutobahnSHO]

Welcome to a day in my life!

What's the "hours required" book rate for such a job??

[BimmerM3]

Actually twice I've rotated my tires, hand tightened the lugs and then forgot to go back to torque them. Lucky it's pretty noticeable when the lugs aren't tightened, so I just stop the car after about 100ft, tighten them up with the emergency jack wrench, then drive it back home to torque it.

[Raghavan]

Actually twice I've rotated my tires, hand tightened the lugs and then forgot to go back to torque them. Lucky it's pretty noticeable when the lugs aren't tightened, so I just stop the car after about 100ft, tighten them up with the emergency jack wrench, then drive it back home to torque it.

I hate tightening with the emergency jack wrench. I never know if i'm over or under tightening it. With a torque wrench, i just set it to 75 or 80 LB/FT and torque it.

[S204STi]

I hate tightening with the emergency jack wrench. I never know if i'm over or under tightening it. With a torque wrench, i just set it to 75 or 80 LB/FT and torque it.

What do you drive?

[S204STi]

What's the "hours required" book rate for such a job??

I dunno,...off the top of my head, maybe 2.5 hours.

[Edit: probably less if it took you only 2]

[GoCougs]

I've done a lot of work on cars in the past; engines, tranmissions, cams, intakes, heads, carbs, headers, the works. I too also did an oil pan gasket swap while the engine was still in the vehicle (Dodge Ramcharger w/318 V8). The swap wasn't too bad, but just my luck the leak was from the rear main seal on the crank (leaked just as bad).

Anyway, today, I don't even change my oil or wash my car. I go to the local lube joint and the automatic car wash next door to it. I've had my fill of it, and mostly because I wasn't very good at it. I rarely ever did something twice, so everything I did was a new "learning" experience. I imagine if I did cam swaps semi-regularly and the like, it would be survivable. I just hated the whole, "I've never done this before, and it's going to be much, much harder than I expect" foreboding.

[Raghavan]

What do you drive?

Accord V6

[TBR]

I've done a lot of work on cars in the past; engines, tranmissions, cams, intakes, heads, carbs, headers, the works. I too also did an oil pan gasket swap while the engine was still in the vehicle (Dodge Ramcharger w/318 V8). The swap wasn't too bad, but just my luck the leak was from the rear main seal on the crank (leaked just as bad).

Anyway, today, I don't even change my oil or wash my car. I go to the local lube joint and the automatic car wash next door to it. I've had my fill of it, and mostly because I wasn't very good at it. I rarely ever did something twice, so everything I did was a new "learning" experience. I imagine if I did cam swaps semi-regularly and the like, it would be survivable. I just hated the whole, "I've never done this before, and it's going to be much, much harder than I expect" foreboding.

Once I use up all the oil I have (bought a case), I am not too sure I will do it again. My filter is in an absolutely impossible spot. Had to cram myself between the bumper and the ground as far as I could go (low car remember) and then still nearly pulled a muscle trying to unscrew it. And then I didn't put the old oil filter in a plastic bag, just in a paper dog food bag with the rest of the trash so we now have oil all over the carport concrete. I hear Wal-mart does it for $25, not bad considering it cost me over $15 to do it.

[ifcar]

The Sedona's oil filter is over what seems to be a brace for the bumper, so the oil comes pouring onto that on the way down. Quite a pain.

[TBR]

My goes right onto the exhaust. A little concerning...

[heelntoe]

my oil leaks right on to the main stand. and it leaks quite a lot. i need to get around to that soon. the current oil is more than 3000kms old.

[SaltyDog]

Once I use up all the oil I have (bought a case), I am not too sure I will do it again. My filter is in an absolutely impossible spot. Had to cram myself between the bumper and the ground as far as I could go (low car remember) and then still nearly pulled a muscle trying to unscrew it. And then I didn't put the old oil filter in a plastic bag, just in a paper dog food bag with the rest of the trash so we now have oil all over the carport concrete. I hear Wal-mart does it for $25, not bad considering it cost me over $15 to do it.

You're asking for trouble taking it to Wal-Mart. 

[giant_mtb]

Army self-help garages where you pay 5 bucks an hour to use a lift and tools?!  Wow...why isn't there anything like that around here?!  That's a GREAT concept.  I bet I could make a LOT of money starting a business like that around here...

[AutobahnSHO]

Army self-help garages where you pay 5 bucks an hour to use a lift and tools?!? Wow...why isn't there anything like that around here?!? That's a GREAT concept.? I bet I could make a LOT of money starting a business like that around here...

    Liability insurance would KILL you.   The Feds get around it somehow though.  (But it might be a good business idea!! )

I can't think of anything besides health insurance and cheaper food that compare with the benefit the garage is to me though.  My car hasn't seen a mechanic since a shop wanted to charge me $100 to put a $10 cv boot on in January 2002.

The self-help has trained mechanics to give advice and help out a little, but they also spend a lot of time making sure people don't get hurt.  The self-help in places like Germany or Alaska also have a wrecker and don't charge much for it, but it's like 9-5 and an appointment...

[r0tor]

Actually twice I've rotated my tires, hand tightened the lugs and then forgot to go back to torque them. Lucky it's pretty noticeable when the lugs aren't tightened, so I just stop the car after about 100ft, tighten them up with the emergency jack wrench, then drive it back home to torque it.

I actually drove around a while with 2 lugnuts missing and the other 3 loose.. the car was always making a weird squeaking sound that took awhile to figure out i was missing lugnuts 

[S204STi]

Once I use up all the oil I have (bought a case), I am not too sure I will do it again. My filter is in an absolutely impossible spot. Had to cram myself between the bumper and the ground as far as I could go (low car remember) and then still nearly pulled a muscle trying to unscrew it. And then I didn't put the old oil filter in a plastic bag, just in a paper dog food bag with the rest of the trash so we now have oil all over the carport concrete. I hear Wal-mart does it for $25, not bad considering it cost me over $15 to do it.

Oh for the love of everything good don't take your car to the same place you would buy diapers to change your oil!  I took my car there once out of necessity and the next time I changed my oil it nearly took a cheater bar to remove the drain plug.

[AutobahnSHO]

Oh for the love of everything good don't take your car to the same place you would buy diapers to change your oil!? I took my car there once out of necessity and the next time I changed my oil it nearly took a cheater bar to remove the drain plug.

At least they put it back on.
I've heard of them repeating my trick... 

[S204STi]

At least they put it back on.
I've heard of them repeating my trick... 

haha yeah...to be honest everyone makes mistakes.  When I was lube jockey at my current place of employment apparently I was accused of not tightening a drain plug...bullsh!t, but I wasn't there to see it, so I can't say.  That said, when you see a few hundred cars in a month you are bound to make a mistake sometime...statistics are against you.

[AutobahnSHO]

haha yeah...to be honest everyone makes mistakes.? When I was lube jockey at my current place of employment apparently I was accused of not tightening a drain plug...bullsh!t, but I wasn't there to see it, so I can't say.? That said, when you see a few hundred cars in a month you are bound to make a mistake sometime...statistics are against you.

I suppose.
I would have to setup some sort of self-check to make sure I did everything.  I lose my keys if they don't go into a basket by the door the minute I'm home... 

[Raza]

I'm not a mechanic because I don't know anything about engines.  That's my excuse.

[S204STi]

I suppose.
I would have to setup some sort of self-check to make sure I did everything.  I lose my keys if they don't go into a basket by the door the minute I'm home... 

You definitely have to develop patterns and habits.  If you do a job the exact same way every time it is very hard to make mistakes, but if you are always changing the way you do a job it becomes easier to make a mistake.  It also makes you more efficient, which is the way to make money without making mistakes.

[traumadog]

Patterns are always good.  We teach "do it the same way, every time, all the time".

But then again, I'm not an auto mechanic - just a human mechaninc.... lol

[FoMoJo]

I used to do a lot of mechanical work, pretty much all, on my cars way back when.  They were mostly junkers and I was a lot more agile.  All I needed was a bumper jack to change stuff like exhaust systems and anything else under the car.  Then, for years, it was just a lot easier to get done at the garage.  However, lately I've been doing simple stuff like oil & filters...kind of working up to starting on a restoration project I've putting off for years.  I sure wish there was room to put a hoist in my workshop.

[sportyaccordy]

The last time I worked on my car...wow, nothing but bad luck. I changed the oil; 2 days later a rod bearing went and destroyed my bottom end. I still don't acknowledge fault; I did everything by the book.

Before that, I had to change an axle...I damaged the axle seal, and forgot to put the shock fork bolt in the bottom. I drive down the block and all of a sudden my right front end begins to sink, and eventually I'm sitting on the tire. I drive the car back to my driveway and it's a fucking mess...the shock was sitting on the axle, so it ate right through the CV joint. Plus the damper fork was warped to all hell. From then on, I abandoned all prospects of working on cars. I sold my car recently and all the tools in it... I don't ever want to touch a wrench again.

[J86]

The last time I worked on my car...wow, nothing but bad luck. I changed the oil; 2 days later a rod bearing went and destroyed my bottom end. I still don't acknowledge fault; I did everything by the book.

Before that, I had to change an axle...I damaged the axle seal, and forgot to put the shock fork bolt in the bottom. I drive down the block and all of a sudden my right front end begins to sink, and eventually I'm sitting on the tire. I drive the car back to my driveway and it's a fucking mess...the shock was sitting on the axle, so it ate right through the CV joint. Plus the damper fork was warped to all hell. From then on, I abandoned all prospects of working on cars. I sold my car recently and all the tools in it... I don't ever want to touch a wrench again.

Your projects sound like mine!  Don't despair, it's still entertaining!

[the Teuton]

I can't say I'm too seasoned, but I haven't had quite the bad luck yet except for paying $400 for basically a whole new front axle for my car (yes, I earned that money myself). 

I've put more money into my car to keep it running than the car is worth.  Probably just because I love the thing so much.   I'm learning how to do the mechanical stuff little by little because I hate paying a mechanic $70/hr. to tinker with my car.

As for oil changing, I think R-ing and J86 can both vouch for me that there aren't many things easier to do, in terms of maintanence, than change the oil in a Subaru.  The pan and bolt are right where you need them to be, and it's all a matter of just jacking up the car and doing it.  No guesswork.

[S204STi]

I can't say I'm too seasoned, but I haven't had quite the bad luck yet except for paying $400 for basically a whole new front axle for my car (yes, I earned that money myself). 

I've put more money into my car to keep it running than the car is worth.  Probably just because I love the thing so much.   I'm learning how to do the mechanical stuff little by little because I hate paying a mechanic $70/hr. to tinker with my car.

As for oil changing, I think R-ing and J86 can both vouch for me that there aren't many things easier to do, in terms of maintanence, than change the oil in a Subaru.  The pan and bolt are right where you need them to be, and it's all a matter of just jacking up the car and doing it.  No guesswork.

I don't even have to jack mine to do it.

[VTEC_Inside]

When I did the pan gasket on my Accord, I ended up doing the entire job twice.

At some point I screwed up and managed to split the new gasket.

Not fun considering that you have to drop a crossmember and the EXHAUST to change the damn thing.

Re: Oil draining from filter mount. Not a big deal on the Accord. A little gets on the exhaust, but easily cleaned up. On the RSX, it spills onto the subframe and flows into all sorts of nooks and crannies. Even after I think I've got it all, I still get a couple drips the following few days.